The WM Parenting Connection

Playing Pirate Monkeys- Encouraging Imagination

2012-01-26T06:00:00.008-06:00

By Jennifer Tomasino

Creativity; it’s where these posts have been heading all along.

Creativity is the key to our future, it will allow our children to go, achieve, and build bigger and better things than we have. Think back to the products and inventions that have arrived in the last 20 years. We have the Steve Jobs legacy, the Bill Gates empire, we carry little computers around in our pockets that miraculously receive phonecalls and can send pictures around the world. You can talk to your car and tell it to find pizza. I have a sewing machine that is probably smarter than the white house security system of 50 years ago. Creativity has opened some amazing doors, all because yesterday’s children learned how to think outside of the box and turn some inspired daydreams into reality.

There is a Healthy Children article (from the AAP site- see link below) titled “What Your Children Are NOT Doing When Watching TV.” Some of the things your kids aren’t doing are asking questions, solving problems, being creative… there’s an entire list. When I interviewed the Children’s Librarians (that I mentioned last week) about learning, they cited multiple studies that found young children cannot actually LEARN from the television.

And this is about when parents start getting defensive again. I admit that this topic is one I discuss frequently; whenever I mention that studies have proven little kids don’t learn from TV, I get responses like “That’s wrong- Sesame Street taught my daughter to count” or “My kid learned Spanish from Dora.” Several times I’ve scratched my head at this, thinking, maybe the experts weren’t asking the right kids? Then I found the answer.

Parenting magazine recently printed an excellent article on imagination (Dec/Jan 2012). In this article Rex Jung, Ph.D., a clinical neuropsychologist with the Mind Research Network in Albuquerque, discusses the topic of kids and appearance of learning that takes place from TV programming. He compared little kids to sponges and says “If you’re just a sponge…you may be able to regurgitate facts, but you can’t combine them in novel and useful ways.” Basically, yes, your 2 year old can learn the ABC song from her hourly PBS show, but she just learned a song, she has no idea what the letters are, why they’re important, or what to do with the song. Your child then needs a teacher (and parents are the first teachers) to come along and say “That’s the alphabet. See? Here’s the letter B, it comes after the letter A.” That’s when learning happens, when the little synapses start firing and she puts the puzzle together and goes “AHA.”

Those “AHA moments” are the key to the future; the reason so many parenting experts rave about the importance of unplugged, free play. Free play is when your child learns how the world works, when they use their imagination and creativity. Free play and the skill to let one’s imagination run wild is how someday, one of our kids will discover a way to travel to Saturn, how they’ll invent the next technological breakthrough, how they’ll find a cure for cancer.

That little boy, the one who proclaimed he’s a cowboy/pirate-monkey and tore all the pillows off your couch to build a fort; that little girl who just ran through the kitchen saying she’s an airplane going to the moon- let’s unplug them, give them space to explore, and sit back and watch the amazing things they will discover.

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/news/Pages/Babies-and-Toddlers-Should-Learn-from-Play-Not-Screens.aspx

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/pages/What-Children-are-NOT-Doing-When-Watching-TV.aspx

Guest Post: How to Prepare Teens for Driving

2012-01-24T13:11:00.000-06:00

by Evan Fischer

Every teen approaching the legal age of licensure feels like he or she is responsible enough to drive a car. Just ask; they’ll tell you that they’re ready! Unfortunately for your teens, you’ve been in their shoes and you know better. However, you do want them to turn into independent, competent, and confident adults at some point, and a large part of that in this day and age is the ability to operate a motor vehicle. So even though you’re no doubt worried about what might happen once your teens are behind the wheel without you, it behooves you to find a way to fight through the fear and help them to become the best drivers they can be. And preparations start at home.Certainly you’ll want your teens to take a driving course, but you need to be on call for supplemental lessons. For one thing, you should definitely sit your teens down to talk about some of the rules and responsibilities that go hand-in-hand with driving. The easiest place to start is with the driver’s manual, so take the time to go over it with them and help them to study and learn the rules within. This is the foundation of responsible driving that will stick with them forever and of course, they’ll need to learn it in order to pass their written exams.

Once your teens are well aware of the laws that govern driving you should lay down some rules of your own. Although they may chomp at the bit with all these restrictions, you must keep in mind that you are ultimately accountable for their safety, so limitations are important, at least until they prove that they can handle the responsibility of driving by making good decisions. You might think about setting a curfew, restricting areas that can be driven in, and disallowing highway driving and friends in the car. In many states, there are actually laws pertaining to one or more of these conditions anyway. But you should impose your own rules nonetheless.And you’ll also want to impress upon your teens the risks and responsibilities they’ll face as new drivers. Of course, if you start talking about peer pressure or accident statistics they’ll probably just zone out. Instead, consider showing them one of the many PSAs on YouTube about texting while driving. Some are pretty graphic, so you may want to watch them first before you show them to your kids. But the truth is, those kids in the car could be them; if these ads don’t scare them into compliance, nothing will.

Finally, you need to make teens aware of the financial responsibilities that come with owning and operating a vehicle, and this means making them pay their own way. You don’t necessarily have to send them out hunting for Ford, Toyota, or Hyundai engines for sale, or other spare parts to fix up a junker; you want them to have a car that is in good working order. But that doesn’t mean you have to buy new Beamers for kids that are almost certainly going to have fender-benders or even a more serious accidents during their teenage years (according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, teens age 16-19 are four times more likely than older drivers to get into an accident). So help them to get a car that they can afford (offer to match them) and then make it a condition of driving that they keep up with payments. It’s a good lesson in the rewards of hard work and more than anything else it will help them to value their vehicle and the experience of driving.

Evan Fischer is a freelance writer and part-time student at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California.

Guest Post:The Endless Benefits of Individual Sports for Young Kids

2012-01-23T06:00:00.003-06:00

by Lauren Bailey

It is no new news that sports are a beneficial endeavor for children of all ages. With childhood obesity steadily on the rise, organized sports offer a much needed alternative to the so often inactive lifestyle we lead today. Rather than sitting at computers or television screens after school each day, kids can spend time playing sports, exercising, forging important friendships, and learning valuable life lessons. Organized athletics offers a benefit during childhood that little else can match. While playing sports in general is most certainly a beneficial thing for many growing youth, individual sports offer an even more enriching atmosphere for kids. The values and lessons learned through childhood individual athletics are ones that will influence an individual throughout the remainder of their lives in relationships, academics, the professional world, and more.

Setting Personal Goals
Individual sports like swimming and cross country allow kids to experience a team structure while competing at an individual level. This ability to train as a team, but compete as an individual helps to build a capacity for setting attainable and powerful personal goals. In racing sports such as swimming, yes, you are racing the person in the lane next to you, but more so, you are racing the clock and your own personal best time. This allows for a certain amount of overall ownership of your hard work. You train to improve for the sake of your team, sure, but, more so, you train for your own sake. While team building and learning to work with a group is important, establishing personal goals and meeting them is endlessly valuable for youth. Setting personal goals can be a hugely difficult task. There is the issue of setting goals to grand to accomplish reasonably or too easy to create real effort. Individual sports help teach kids how to set goals that are worthwhile and productive.

Managing Personal Disappointment
Now, with goal setting comes inevitable disappointment at times. Part of maturing is learning how to cope with disappointment—and there is no disappointment greater than personal disappointment. In this way, individual sports teach a valuable lesson in perseverance. Kids will not be able to reach every goal they set out to accomplish. A young swimmer may never get that goal time they strive for in every race. Meeting this realization head on is no doubt devastating, but nonetheless an important lesson. Learning to manage personal disappoint in a productive manner is something that comes with maturity. Individual sports are all about personal triumphs and personal letdowns.

Finding Self-Motivation
Self-motivation is one of the most essential traits for success in life. This trait is found through hard work and perseverance and can be achieved in both team and individual sports. However, with individual sports, kids are pushed even hard to find the self-motivation and self-initiative to improve. Team sports are great because they allow for a communal effort towards some goal. With individual sports, while you have your teams support, the responsibility to put the work and effort in is on you in the end. Finding the motivation within yourself to strive for your athletic goals will only help you find that same motivation for other endeavors in your life.

This guest post is contributed by Lauren Bailey, who regularly writes for
accredited online colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: blauren99@gmail.com.

Guest Post: Why Do Your Kids Know More about Technology than You? Learning from Your Kids

2012-01-19T12:10:00.002-06:00

Children today are digital natives. They have grown up with technology. It is a part of every aspect of their lives, and they have never known a world without technology. In fact, most children today know how to use technology better than many adults. Your toddler may be able to breeze quickly through an iPad to pull up his favorite videos on YouTube while you still aren't sure how to turn it on. Your tween daughter may be able to text faster than you can type. They may both know about sites you have never even heard of. Learning how to bridge this technology gap between you and your children can help you to better understand their world so that you can talk to them about appropriate use. They might also be able to teach you a thing or two about how to use technology. Here's how you can learn from your children to help close the gap between you:

Have an Open Mind

You may be more hip about technology than your parents were, but with technology always changing, there is likely a lot you still have to learn. Some aspects of technology may even intimidate you, as it could seem too complex to understand or you aren't sure where to begin trying to learn it. Don't allow these feelings to prevent you from trying new technology or learning new things. Keep an open mind, and you will open yourself up to learning.

Watch Your Children

If you aren't sure how to use a piece of technology, take a back seat and watch your children as they use it. Take note of how they navigate that tablet. Watch what they do to use their iPods and their cell phones. Take note of what cords they plug in to upload pictures to their laptops. Even more important, watch how they figure out how to do something when they are doing it for the first time. Digital natives are often able to figure out how to use any piece of technology, even if they have not used anything like it in the past. Take cues from your children about how they figure out the different gadgets.

Engage with Your Children

One of the best ways to learn about new technology quickly is to interact with your children while they are using it. Join them the next time they play a video game. Choose some songs on their iPod the next time you are listening to music together. Take charge of the remote control when you hook up the Internet TV to watch a movie. Let them guide you while you are interacting together. When they are surfing the Web, ask them about the Web sites they frequent and the types of activities they enjoy online. You will learn about current trends and better understand the lives your children lead online.

Ask for Help

Even the most observant and interactive students can still have questions. When you are still stumped by a piece of technology, ask your children for help. You will get the information you need, and you will help them to feel empowered by being able to help you. Not only will you gain new skills, but you will also help build your child's self-esteem.

Immerse Yourself

Your children have become as savvy as they are about technology because they have been immersed in it since birth. Technology permeates every aspect of their lives. Learn similarly by also immersing yourself. Don't shy away from technology, especially technology you don't understand. Get the latest model cell phone. Junk your old DVD player and get a Blue-Ray player or, better yet, Internet TV. Take home a tablet from work when it's offered. The more you use technology, the more comfortable you will be with it and the easier it will be for you to adapt to new inventions.

Many parents have much to learn about technology from their children. While the gap between parent and child may be narrower since the time that personal computers first became widespread in homes, there still exists a gap as technology continues to propagate faster than some of us can keep up with it. Forget about your role as the teacher, and allow yourself to become the student, letting your children teach you what they know about technology. They will be happy to share this part of their world with you, and you will be better able to monitor what your children are doing.

About the author:

Amanda Tradwick is a grant researcher and writer for CollegeGrants.org. She has a Bachelor's degrees from the University of Delaware, and has recently finished research on grants for cosmetology school and teaching grants.

Turning off the Tube

2012-01-19T06:00:00.002-06:00

Five Hours a day- that’s how much time the average American person spends in front of a TV set. That’s a part-time job!

This last summer I interviewed the two top Children’s Librarians in town for an article on reading. They threw a ton of statistics my way, but the number that really stood out was 5000. “The average kid has watched 5000 hours of TV by the time they reach age five. …that’s more time than it takes to earn your bachelor’s degree.” Which means, if you start your kids at day one, they would need to watch just under 3 hours of TV a day.

The American Academy of Pediatrics came out with a revised policy statement in October 2011. Their new stance was to discourage TV for kids under age 2, this was based on ten years of media research. They also encourage parents to limit TV for older kids to less than two hours a day.

Now before getting all defensive and exclaiming “if it weren’t for Mickey, I would never get a shower” consider this: imagine the money that the AAP would have drawn in endorsements IF they had simply said -the result of our studies blah blah blah… Baby Einstein for an hour a day will make your kid a genius. Disney would have rushed to open their checkbooks. But they didn’t. The AAP stood by their 1999 warnings of –listen parents, this TV stuff is not good for your kids!

If you read the full article in Pediatrics journal it strongly encourages pediatricians to bring up the topic of TV during well child visits. Your annual visit should go something like: ok, here you go, this will keep your kid from getting polio, looks like his growth curve is right on track, oh, and turn off your TV. It’s that important.

The official findings paper states this: “Media use has been associated with obesity, sleep issues, aggressive behaviors, and attention issues in preschool- and school-aged children.”

I don’t know about you, but those are some pretty strong words. Scary words- words that I want to make sure don’t end up on my kid’s medical charts. Is it possible to have ADD, insomnia, and obesity challenges while never having watched an episode of “Clubhouse?” Of course, but if you could reduce your child’s risk of those challenges, simply by pushing a button- would you?

For the full policy statement, visit:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040.full

Lead Paint- What's lurking in your Toy Box?

2012-01-12T06:00:00.000-06:00

How do you feel about Lead Based Paint?

Stupid question, right? Almost every parent knows that allowing your children to play with anything contaminated with lead based paint is potentially poisonous.

Why is lead poisoning a bad thing? Well, first of all, there’s that pesky word “poison.” That’s usually the first clue. Most kids stick everything in their mouths, not just the tainted items, but kids are constantly touching their faces, not washing their hands before they eat- just being kids. So if your child plays with or around something that is covered in a lead based material, chances are, your child will end up ingesting some of it.

The danger with consuming lead is that it starts building up in your body. It may take awhile for this buildup to reach dangerous levels, but when enough lead is consumed it starts messing with brain function, especially the areas of the brain associated with learning and behavior. Studies have shown that “Lead poisoning can cause learning disabilities and behavioral problems. Lead also can cause stomach and intestinal problems, loss of appetite, anemia, headaches, constipation, hearing loss, and even short stature.”

Lead content in toys has been a fairly hot topic in recent years. In 2007 Mattel and Mattel Inc
issued recalls of 10.5 million items worldwide. These toys included Barbie dolls, Fischer Price infant toys, Polly Pockets, and Disney “Cars” branded items. Visiting the Consumer Product Safety Commission website is a scary thing; clicking on the Toy hazard recalls gives you an entire list of products that are recalled for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is possible lead
contamination. The most recent recall for lead was little toy cars- how many of
these cars are sitting in kids toy-boxes and hiding under beds?

If it’s such a problem, why is lead even used in toys? Well, up until the 70’s there wasn’t any regulation on lead paint. Manufacturers used lead because it worked, it was cheap, it was convenient, and they didn’t have a reason not to. Once research started linking lead and health problems, then organizations like the CDC and the AAP started warning consumers and the Federal Government started regulating its use. Now we can look back and say “what were they thinking?” But the truth is, that until there was solid information on the subject, they didn’t know any better. Now we know better and are still working, decades later, to remove lead from our kid’s toy-boxes and lives.

So the question is- given this information, would you knowingly allow your child to play with and
keep a favorite toy that has a substance proven to cause attention and learning challenges?

Where I got my information:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/all-around/Pages/Lead-Poisoning.aspx
http://toys.about.com/od/healthandsafety/f/leadpoisoning.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/nceh/lead/tips/toys.htm
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20254745/ns/business-consumer_news/t/mattel-issues-new-massive-china-toy-recall/
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/toy.html

Who is the American Academy of Pediatricians?

2012-01-05T06:00:00.001-06:00

This month I plan to explore a several parenting recommendations that can be highly controversial. I will do a series of four posts, with the first three being background information, and ending with discussion on the topic itself. This is post one of four.

Who is the American Academy of Pediatricians?

Most pediatricians are members of at least one academy, either the American Academy of Pediatricians (AAP) or the American College of Pediatricians (which split from the AAP in 2002 over policy differences). As outlined on the AAP website “The mission of the American Academy of Pediatrics is to attain optimal physical, mental, and social health and well-being for all infants, children, adolescents and young adults.” It has over 60,000 members. If your pediatrician lists FAAP after his or her name, then they are a member of the AAP.

The AAP is funded privately through member dues, publication revenues, and unrestricted
grants. They have one of the longest running research based programs in the U.S. and conduct research to “enhance the delivery of health care to children.” It was founded in 1930 by a group of doctors who had this absurd notion that medicine for kids should be different than medicine for adults- up until then kids were treated like mini-adults.

My reason for outlining the AAP and giving you some background on the organization is to make
the case that this is a group to be trusted. A pediatrician should be a trusted friend, someone who acts as an advisor in the parenting journey (see my post on “It Takes a Village” from a couple of weeks ago). A pediatrician is the one you call when your child has a scary fever, when you’re “not sure if that’s Eczema.” They are the person you can confide in if you think your child might be facing challenges, physically or emotionally. You should be able to bring up topics like “Is my child overweight?” or “She just seems to have trouble concentrating- should I be worried?” without feeling judged. The AAP is just a larger version of this relationship, they keep our children’s best interest at heart and work to research and educate doctors and parents on the topics that can make us all better parents and caregivers.

Ok, you might say, I already knew that- check back next week to see why this is important.

For more information on the AAP go to www.AAP.org

Everything I Need To Know About Parenting I Learned in Puppy Class

2011-12-29T06:00:00.002-06:00

Well, maybe not everything. Or let me rephrase that, “In puppy class I learned the importance of consistency.”

When I graduated college I got the puppy I had been dreaming about forever, a Great Pyrenees. These dogs are HUGE, he weighs about 100 lbs and you don’t even want to know how much it costs to feed him. When our puppy, Zeus, was still relatively small we enrolled in puppy classes at a local boarding facility. The teacher’s favorite principal was “if you’re going to tell him to do something and not follow up with it, how is he ever going to know you’re serious? If you allow him to get away with not coming when you call, then when he’s in the middle of the road, won’t listen, and gets hit by a car, you really have yourself to blame. He didn’t know any
better.” I won’t elaborate on the time Zeus and I spent in “time out” in that class- because my 80 lb "puppy" wouldn’t sit and I wasn’t strong enough to make him- but in the end he did learn to
obey, kind of.

It may sound funny, but the same concept applies with my kids. If I tell my daughter to leave something alone, and then don’t react when she completely ignores me, how is she going to know any better when I say not to touch the hot stove and she does it anyway? When I yell “don’t run into the road, there’s a car coming?” My son’s pediatrician even solidified this concept at our last well child visit. He said -your baby is going to test you 10 times, if you are firm the first nine, and then let him get away with it the last time, you wasted the first nine times.

Some days I feel like there’s permanent butt prints on the time-out chair and they are testing me on every little thing, but I know that this is part of my job as a parent. Someday the fact that they listen could save us a lot of pain and frustration.

So thank you Zeus, for teaching me parenting skills, my kids really appreciate you being the guinea pig.

Guest Post: Why Your Child May Need Braces

2011-12-28T20:32:00.001-06:00

by Richard Keane

Deciding to get braces for your child can be difficult for all parents. Many ask about the common ways to determine when their child may need braces, how prepared the children should be to take care of them and how parents are going to afford the dental procedure itself. These are highly debilitating questions and can raise concern. However, the best way to ensure your child's teeth are taken care of properly is to send them to the dentist periodically and receive routine check-ups. These check-ups will determine whether your child will need braces as they continue to maintain good oral health.

Why Braces?

If your child is not receiving habitual check-ups, then you may be able to decide whether they need braces by viewing their teeth. Teeth can become crowded, crooked, overlapped and show signs of malocclusion suggesting immediate assistance. Problems such as malocclusion will show distinct symptoms because the lower and upper jaw will not be similar sizes. Thus, it results in over and under bites, which can be very painful for children. Your child will also need braces if they are continuously sucking their thumbs, as this often leads to crookedness of the teeth.

What if my child doesn’t get braces?

Braces are not only about improving the aesthetics of the smile but can also impact on the functionality of the mouth. If teeth are askew and the bottom and top arch of teeth are not meeting properly, this can lead to difficult speaking and eating. Gaps in teeth due to tooth irregularity can also lead to build up of bacteria and possible infection, which can have serious implications on both your child’s oral and general health.

Orthodontist

If you are still unsure arrange an appointment with an orthodontist. They will be able to verify the problem and create a treatment plan that will execute preventative tactics properly. Preventative treatment plans can occur for ages 5 and up. This is due to the fact that permanent teeth are going to be arriving shortly! These professionals are more than qualified to administer exams and evaluate the child's mouth. Be prepared to have your child undergo x-ray examinations and impression testing. Specific questions will be asked to ensure proper execution of treatment.

Braces and Affordability

Braces are simple and metallic and small objects that are pressed against the teeth. They place pressure on the teeth to align them into the proper formation. There are several braces that parents can choose for their children. There are ceramic, metal, plastic, clear and lingual braces available. It is important to acknowledge your child's opinion while choosing. Children should also get to choose which method they prefer over the other, especially since the procedure involves them – however, of course, cost will play a part.

Many children may be self-conscious while undergoing this form of dental treatment. Take this into consideration and choose lingual or clear braces. This will ensure they are not teased or feel so alienated. However, discuss with them your ability to pay for pricey treatments. These forms of treatment tend to be highly expensive.

If your child does not seem concerned with what others think and perceive the braces as cool, great! This will allow you to make cost-effective decisions without damaging egos or self-esteem! Braces can be afforded through various dental plans and programs.

Caring for Braces

Whether a child is prepared to handle the responsibilities of caring for braces or not they will have to. In most cases a specific flosser will be given to the child. This flosser will easily remove residue of food and other debris that can get caught in braces. Refrain from specific foods that are sticky because brackets may be damaged.

There are several mouth care requirements that should be taken into consideration. Speak to your orthodontist to find out what will work for your child. For more information contact your local orthodontist for assistance.

Authors Bio

Richard is a freelance writer who has done his time good and proper when it comes to dental braces. He hopes you take your child’s health into account when it comes to braces, as problems like tooth decay and gum disease are nothing to be snorted at. Visit him @thefreshhealth on Twitter for more tips.

Inspirational Adoption Story: Officer...why don’t you adopt him?

2011-12-28T14:10:00.002-06:00

There are thousands upon thousands of children looking for a family to adopt them. Each adoption story is unique from one another, and each story can offer hope and inspiration to a family looking to adopt. Author Lepolia West's adoption story isn't any different, with the exception he became the first man in Illinois to adopt an abandoned infant as a bachelor, sharing his adopt struggle and eventual success in the true story, “Officer...why don’t you adopt him?”

At the time of the adoption, Lepolia West was serving the Chicago police department when an abandoned infant became in need of a home. Everyone told him he couldn’t be the one to adopt the child as he was unwed and had chosen a dangerous career, but that didn’t stop his desire or battle to adopt the young boy.

With the odds against him, Lepolia West set forth on his journey to bring the baby home to call his own, even after he was told it would never happen. The numerous obstacles set before him eventually landed in the public‘s eye, and the story was brought into the light, being featured in many well known magazines and newspaper, including the Wall Street Journal and Redbook Magazine. It even caught the attention of the Hollywood producer, Joyce Selznick who began developing the story into a feature film or/and a television series. However, a short time later Joyce Selznick passed away, and the development of the book reached a stand still.

Even with film development at a stand still, the message of the book is not and remains as powerful as ever. “Officer...why don’t you adopt him?” is an influential story, full of suspense and passion for those looking to adopt a child or for those who love children in general.

Author Lepolia West followed his potential in life to become the father the abandoned infant needed and deserved, even with the odds against him. This true adoption story is unlike any other and offers hope for other families looking to adopt.

To learn more about Author Lepolia West or to purchase his book, visit www.officerleewest.com

From One Mother to Another – Don’t Bite Off More Than You Can Chew!

2011-12-28T09:34:00.000-06:00

You May End Up with a Stomach Ache! By Jodi Ciampa

Let me first take a minute to describe my personality to you. I am a boringly practical, admittedly cheap, annoyingly organized, anal retentive, schedule oriented, neat freak of a person; but I believe these “qualities” help to keep me somewhat sane. I plan ahead but can only manage a few days at a time. I can do it all, just not all at once. I handle life on a smaller scale. This way when the day feels like it is out of control, and it often does, I still know where everyone and everything is, I know what’s going on and can feel slightly less stressed. I find when I have a lot to do and don’t have a chance to regroup, I get very overwhelmed. Let’s face it, then accept it - even if you have a good husband (and I really do), one that helps out (and I emphasize the word helps), IT IS STILL ALL ON YOU.

So after all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, planning holidays and birthdays, and just plain old daily care, we should be entitled to Mother’s Week, not just Mother’s Day. And moms that work on top of it all, you should get a whole month to yourself! My advice to you is not to conquer the world all at once. Don’t overbook yourself with parties, play dates and social events. Know your limitations. Focus on what is happening in the present – maybe a week or a month ahead, not six months. Now that I have two school-aged children who are “involved” in extra curricular activities, I try to make my “To Do” lists realistic so I can actually get everything done in one day. I still feel like I am going round and round, but I do find that I have more time to take a small break to think once in a while. I can savor a moment or two with my kids or myself. If you can take life in pieces, you will most likely feel better. You may then be able to give 100% of yourself to one situation as opposed to giving 20% of yourself to 5.

Sibling Rivalry: Friends or Foes?

2011-12-22T06:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I wonder if I did my daughter a disservice, having
my kids only 22 months apart. She had to grow up so quickly when my son was
born. All of the sudden she was potty trained, self entertaining, “mommy’s
feeding the baby right this second, can you wait just a minute?” She loves her
little brother, but there are days where I miss just mommy/daughter time.
Now that little brother is mobile we have had to put away
all the little toys because he is constantly eating EVERYTHING. She has to keep
her flashcards and books up so he won’t get a hold of them. I get the “Mama!
Baby G is bugging me!” at least daily.
Then on the flip side of that, my son absolutely adores his
big sister. He looks at her like she walks on water. Naptimes really solidify
the bond they have. When I say it is time for the little guy’s nap, big sister
comes running in saying “no sleeping, I want to play with him.” Then if I can
manage to get them both to nap simultaneously (Mommytime: peace, quiet, cram as
much work into two hours as possible), I wake the baby up first and we both go
in to wake up big sister together. Today he started making these adorable
little cooing noises and trying to give her kisses. My eyes might have teared
up a little.
It’s moments like this that I realize I’ve given her a
friend for life. I’ve given both of them a buddy, someone to share inside jokes
with, a partner in crime, not just someone to wreck their toys and fight with,
but someone to fight for and what I hope is a sibling love that will last
forever. I know that my siblings and I still fight like crazy, but I would go
to the ends of the earth for them.
That’s worth the craziness of “2 under 2” and four years of
life revolving around babies. For the rest of their life they will have someone
to share Christmas morning with, even if it’s just a phone-call to say “I love
you sis.”
Merry Christmas to all my crazy siblings, especially my
little brother who’s deployed for the holidays this year- I love you all.

From One Mother to Another - Déjà Vu All Over Again

2011-12-21T14:54:00.000-06:00

Are You a Broken Record? by Jodi Ciampa

What an understatement! I don’t think I can think straight even after eight years of being a mom. And am I getting stupider? I sure am; and I’ve heard the more kids you have, the dumber you feel. I’m lucky I haven’t forgotten my name yet. It’s like I’m going in circles saying the same things over and over again. I just want to record my voice and hit play every time I have to repeat myself 37 times. Well if you’re new to this “mothering” thing and worried whether this is going to happen to you, you can stop worrying. It’s inevitable. It will happen to you, but now you know that ALL mothers understand. As my sister-in-law once said, even if the boat is sinking; it is nice to know we are all going down together!

Building My “village”

2011-12-15T06:00:00.005-06:00

Image via Wikipedia

By Jennifer Tomasino

It really does take a village. I was reminded of that saying the other day as I listened to my teenage little sisters play with my 2 ½ year old. They had set up a “store” in the den and were running back and forth from the toy kitchen in the bedroom to get groceries. I remember loving that game as a little kid, but I had forgotten all about it when playing with my daughter.

When my first child was born I thought that in order to be a “good mom” I needed to do everything and be everything. I wore myself out trying to make everything perfect, then came the realization after a couple of months that I didn’t need to change her shirt every time she spit up, and purchasing pre-made baby food wasn’t going to permanently damage her.

It is difficult to decide who to let into my village. Deciding who to trust with the most precious little people in my life is not an easy task. Finding pediatricians, babysitters, and mommy/playdate friends is easier said than done.

But no one person can do it alone; having a Doctor to call when that rash starts looking suspect, a friend who can say “leave the kids with me so you can go and have a date night with your husband,” or even just someone to call because “the kids have colds and the whining is driving me absolutely crazy,” that support is the difference between feeling connected, and the lonely, isolated world of doing it all myself.

Sometimes all it takes is someone with a new perspective to completely turn the situation around. Hearing the laughter of kids playing or “it’s ok, my kids do that too” makes me feel that, even though it’s not perfect, my mommy skills might not be so bad after all.

How do you decide who to allow into your village? And who are the support people that you simply can’t live without? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.

From One Mother to Another - Is That HMO, PPO or UFO?

2011-12-14T15:23:00.000-06:00

Health Insurance - By Jodi Ciampa

There are so many tests and shots given to your baby in the first few days of life, especially if there are health concerns, so you want to remember to add your child to your health insurance as soon as possible. Most insurance companies only give you 30 days after the baby is born to add a new child to your policy. To make sure, call your insurance company before going to the hospital. They will tell you exactly what you need to do.

From One Mother to Another - Common Sense Goes Right Out the Window When You Have a Baby

2011-12-07T00:01:00.001-06:00

The Naiveness of a New Mother by Jodi Ciampa

As my son became a toddler, I use to say to my husband, “What you do for yourself, do for him!” (Because to me, the mother whom of course knew all, didn’t think he was remembering to do certain tasks.) Things like brushing your teeth, taking your vitamins, eating breakfast - common sense, right?!? The stuff we do routinely without even thinking about. But when you first bring that newborn baby home, it’s like you have no common sense at all. The simplest tasks are questioned as if they are not okay to perform on this alien-life you have brought into your house.

I remember one time in particular when my son was a week old and my mother called to see how everything was going. After a few minutes of chatting she asked me if I was washing his face and hands every day. What an insulting question! What kind of idiot does she think I am? Do I really need to be told to wash my child’s face and hands everyday? Well, the answers are - Not At All, Pretty Big One and Yes I Do! because up until that point, I didn’t do it EVER. I actually remember thinking to myself - washing his face and hands, why? How dirty can a week old baby get? I just figured when the umbilical cord stump fell off, I would give him a bath. Well, it took six weeks for his stump to fall off, so thank goodness my experienced mother told me to wash his face and hands. Can you imagine what he would have looked like after two weeks?!?

Special Interview-- Plus, Your Chance to Win!!

2011-12-06T05:21:00.001-06:00

Interview with billionaire entrepreneur, Mark Cuban!

Mark Cuban shares his wealth of experience and business savvy in his first published book, How to Win at the Sport of Business, available now only as an e-book. Using the greatest material from his popular Blog Maverick, he has collected and updated his postings on business and life to provide a catalog of insider knowledge on what it takes to become a thriving entrepreneur. Cuban tells his own rags-to-riches story of how he went from selling powdered milk and sleeping on friends' couches to owning his own company and becoming a multi-billion dollar success story. His unconventional yet highly effective ideas on how to build a successful business offer entrepreneurs at any stage of their careers a huge edge over their competitors

One of my favorite parts of your book, How to Win at the Sport of Business, that completely broke my heart was when your ex-secretary robbed your first company of over $83,000, leaving you only $2000 after a year of work. If there are moms out there that have lost everything, what advice do you have for them to pick themselves back up?

Keep working. Don’t feel sorry for yourself because it won’t do any good.

There are many young moms who are just beginning their lives and can relate to you when you said you were sharing a small apartment with 6 people and sleeping on the floor. How can someone keep their eye on the prize when they’re living on Ramen noodles?

Who cares how you are living today? I loved every minute of living in that dump. The low rent and utilities and eating Mac n’ Cheese all the time allowed me to afford the startup of my business. Instead of paying myself much, I could put it in to my business.

There are many mommies out there that dream of creating their own business but haven't a clue where to start. What advice do you have for them?

Find something you love to do, can do on your own and doesn’t require any more capital than you can afford to lose personally. The most valuable asset you have is your time, talents and ability to communicate. Focus on those strengths and what you can do rather than what you can’t do.

You were offered many opportunities to publish your book traditionally by the major publishing houses but you were quoted as saying that you didn’t like the financial risk model that most publishing deals would offer you. Why?
Time is the most valuable asset I have. The amount of time required to give the publishers a chance to make their money back wasn’t worth the money to me. My preference was to put out an eBook on my own terms and see how it did and what I could learn. Based on this education, I will be a lot smarter about what I do next.

You have a fanbase of millions. And you have encouraged them to email you their thoughts on your book. What kind of feedback have you been receiving?

100% positive. I’ve been shocked by how quickly people have bought the book and read it.

Where can we get a copy of your eBook, How to Win at the Sport of Business?

Anywhere eBooks are sold: Amazon, BN.com, and sites that support independent bookstores too.

Now here's your chance to win!!
Mark will give away 2 free Landmark Movie tickets if you check out HDNet Movies Kid Scene and tell us your best reason for wanting to take your children to the movies! Don't forget to tell us what movie you can't wait to see with your kids!!

Recording Moments without living Them......

2011-12-05T03:25:00.000-06:00

By Claire Hegarty

I am guilty of it yet again! After writing this piece over at my blog http://fortysomethingfirsttimeyogini.blogspot.com/2011/11/recording-moments-without-living-them.html I find myself still doing it!

I spent a lot of time last week taking photos of things. Things like my son at play, my son with his friends, my son in town. Okay, Okay. I spent a lot of time last week taking photos of my son! My husband thinks I will make him overconfident because I photograph him so much and my mother thinks he will be annoyed with me when he is older. She can picture me regaling all and sundry, including girlfriends (or boyfriends) with photos and videos of his childhood, in full digital technicolour!

I have to admit this visualisation makes me laugh. It makes me laugh all the more because it is so probably true!

There aren't many photos of myself or my siblings when we were children as my parents couldn't really afford a camera until we were older. That's why I want to record every moment of my son's childhood that I can. I know he will not be a child for long. I need to be careful though that I don't spent so much time recording moments with him, that I do not get to live them.......................

Guest Post: 5 Fun, Free Places to take Your Kids

2011-12-02T05:38:00.002-06:00

You love to take your kids to new places, but you really don’t have the money. Where can you take them that are fun for them and free for you? Well, here are five great ideas for fun day trips with your child. They’ll love the adventure and you’ll love the price.

1. Pet stores/aquarium stores - It’s the zoo but free and indoors! Little kids love animals. What better place to see them up close and personal, without wearing yourself out? Oftentimes a pet store is even better than the zoo. The small cages mean your child won’t have to work to see the animals, and the wide assortment of pets (most of them small enough not to be scary) allow kids to enjoy themselves without getting overcome. For older kids, try taking them to an exotic animal pet store. I have seen stores with iguanas, sugar gliders (sort of a cross between chipmunks and flying squirrels), lemurs, and hedgehogs. Watch out for the snakes and bugs. Then you have the fish. Places like Aquarium World have a giant fish tank, just like one you would pay to see in an aquarium but for free. The goldfish ponds are fun for younger children, and some stores even let kids feed the fish. The variety of brightly colored, fast moving fish will mesmerize your children. Personally, I liked the sea horses best- underwater horses- but my brother loved the baby sharks. Even eels don’t look as creepy under the sparkling blue water.

2. Ikea- I know what you’re thinking. Why Ikea? It’s just fun. Not only do they have a play-land for kids (free babysitting!) but it’s just pleasurable to go through the huge store with a little kid. They see things you’d have overlooked. The multi-colored kitchenware are a huge (and useful) hit, the numerous and sundry stuffed animals, and the clunky wooden toys. The displays of children’s rooms are a load of fun. It’s like going to a sleepover, but in five or six different houses. Your child will love ‘napping’ in the child-sized beds, ‘cooking’ with the miniature stoves, turning on and off the child-safe lights (ladybugs and stars), crawling under the giant leaf canopy, and some stores have a little tunnel and slide combo that both your child and her stuffed animal friends will enjoy. Plus, most of the toys and things they can actually pick up and beg you to buy are under ten dollars.

3. Jewelry stores- A store like Claire’s, or any other low-end jewelry store, are best. Girls love jewelry, and little girls love shiny things the most. What better place to take your little princess? Claire’s has little-kid-friendly jewelry like Dora the Explorer, Strawberry Shortcake, and Hello Kitty. Tiny purses and tiaras, feathered boas and headbands; Claire’s is a dress-up wonderland.
4. Garden centers- Sounds strange, but flowers can be fun. Customarily garden centers are bursting with beauty and color in spring and summer. Show your kids where oranges come from, show them a grape vine, and don’t forget to take time to smell the roses. Little kids love smelling things! It’s also a great way to get your child to eat their vegetables. You’d be surprised what a picky eater will eat if they watered and took care of it for weeks.

5. Sports stores/outdoors stores- Got a kid that’s always on the move? Try a sports store. Some of the big chain stores have batting cages, mini-golf courses, even skiing! They can check out all the different kinds of balls, try on the roller skates, and drool over the mountain bikes. Outdoors stores can also be really interesting. Places like Bass Pro Shop, Outdoor World, REI, and Gander Mountain all have exciting displays. Have fun ‘camping’ indoors, check out the fishing rods, and climb a mountain. Some stores even have indoor lakes for little kids to fish in. The climbing walls and fake boulders are fun for energetic older kids. All the fun of a camping trip without the work.

There are many more places you can take your child, but these five ideas should get you on the right path. Remember that children are simple. They are entertained by almost anything if their parents make it exciting. Remember to have fun and stay relaxed and you’ll both have a blast.

Author Bio
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, Babysitting, nanny background check tips etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com

Guest Post: How to Tell if Your Child Might Have Vision Problems

2011-12-01T05:13:00.000-06:00

by Evan Fischer

New parents worry about everything from diaper rash to the slightest fever. And while babies are certainly prone to certain ailments due to the fact that they’re still developing, most of the fears that plague first-time parents will prove to be the products of nothing more than a heightened sense of responsibility. But when something is truly wrong with your child, you need to know early so that you can get the proper treatment to ensure that the condition goes no further. This is true for issues as simple as colds (which can turn into bronchitis or pneumonia if untreated) or as serious as autism (for which early detection plays a major role in halting advancement). And when it comes to your child’s primary sense, you want to err on the side of caution. So here are just a few indicators that it’s time to check your child’s vision.

1. Lazy eye. The technical term for this condition is amblyopia and it is the most common form of vision problems in children. It is caused by a weakness in one eye relating to an underdeveloped pathway between the brain and the eye. Luckily, it can be easy to identify thanks to the signature laziness in the eye (which generally causes it to turn inward or outward). You may also be able to tell if one eye wanders or if both eyes don’t track together. In some cases, the only indication is a loss of vision on one side, which you should be able to spot eventually. But early treatment is key to vision correction, so don’t hesitate to see a doctor if you think your child is exhibiting symptoms.

2. Cataracts. This may sound odd, but some infants are actually born with cataracts while other children develop them in the first few years of life. The condition could be hereditary or there might be other causes, but you need to get them treated as soon as possible. Contrary to popular belief, eye surgery for children is relatively safe and you need to have cataracts treated immediately so that your child’s vision can develop normally.

3. Vision that isn’t developing. Nervous parents may wonder why their baby seems unable to focus on them during the first few months of life. The truth is that most babies don’t have fully developed vision until they’re six to eight months old (generally speaking – remember that all babies develop differently). But if your child is getting close to the year mark and he still can’t focus, there is almost certainly a problem that needs attention.

4. Clumsiness. Sometime kids are just clumsy; they’re learning how to operate their bodies and they need some practice. This is especially true of toddlers, who are going to be a little shaky on their legs for a while. But if your child is constantly bumping into things, you may want to take him for a vision test just to be sure.

5. Problems at school. Poor grades and disruptions in class may just be indicators of a hyper child, or your kid could have a learning disorder. But if these theories don’t hold water, perhaps the trouble is that he can’t see what’s on the blackboard and he’s getting frustrated. And eye exam will give you a quick answer. Perhaps a child that already wears glasses is taking them off at school because of the way they look. In this case, ask your ophthalmologist about the possibility of contact lenses. Acuvue has a wide variety and it’s easy to find rebates online. Surprisingly, kids of all ages can be good candidates for contacts, so there’s no reason not to help your child feel great and look good (pardon the pun) at the same time.

About the Author:
Evan Fischer is a freelance writer and part-time student at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California

From One Mother to Another – Children Are Only Children for Eighteen Years

2011-11-30T16:49:00.000-06:00

For the Bittersweet Ending to Yet Another Year

by Jodi Ciampa

With the ending of yet another year and as I wipe the tears from my face because I can't believe my baby is now in kindergarten, I am reminded of a brief statement my mother-in-law said to me in passing. “Children are only children for eighteen years.”

When I am going through the everyday tasks of dressing, feeding, making breakfast, making lunch, making dinner, dropping off, picking up, shopping, cleaning, ordering, yelling, screaming, punishing and every other chore that makes raising children seem like a life sentence instead of a finite amount of time, I try to remember the bigger picture.

“Children are only children for eighteen years.” When I put it into prospective and relate it to my own life, I have lived two childhoods. Compared to the length of time I have been married, I would have a teenager and, in the amount of time that I have been out of high school, I could have a child who is the legal drinking age.

Children have such a short time to be kids and we, as parents, have even less until they don’t want us to take care of them anymore. So for now, let them be themselves. Let them get dirty, play in their good clothes, need hugs on demand, want to be held, cuddle up in bed on a weekend, sneak snacks from the pantry, jump on the couch, read by flashlight at night, not want to go to sleep and display their childish behaviors. As hard as it is, give them a free pass without telling them to act their age…because they ARE.

I never realized how fast time went by until I became a parent watching my children grow up right before my eyes. You can never get those years back. Before you know it, their childhood is gone and what we are left with is just fading memories. But… if we are lucky, what they are left with is the lasting impressions that a memorable childhood leave in their minds.

Guest Post: 5 Tips for Dealing with Unrealistic Holiday Expectations

2011-11-28T06:34:00.001-06:00

My boys begin their Christmas lists about mid-way through the year. Needless to say, those lists are monstrosities by the time the holiday season finally arrives. Actually, I think it's safe to say I enjoying being Santa as much as my boys enjoy being visited by Santa. Unfortunately, this Santa is a single parent on a tight budget, and there's just no way I'd ever be able to cross off all the items on those Christmas wish lists. I know the holidays are not all about gifts . . . but how many kids know that? Really? When I was a kid, Christmas was all about opening gifts (that, and eating my mom's homemade sugar cookies). So, naturally, when I think of all I won't be able to buy for my kids this Christmas (and that vacation we won't be able to take this year), I feel the need to prep them - to make the best of it. Here are five tips for dealing with unrealistic holiday expectations.

Christmas savings. Once November comes, I tell my boys that all of their allowance money is going to have to go towards purchasing Christmas gifts, and that their money will stay in "The Bank of Mommy" until we go shopping for those gifts. This gives my kids an appreciation for what it actually takes to buy gifts for someone else . . . and makes them aware of the fact that the gifts I buy for them must come out of my hard-earned "allowance," too.

The disclaimer. I tell my boys that Santa has a lot of children to give gifts to, and that no child gets everything on his or her list.

Home for the holidays. Some Christmases, I am able to take the family down to Florida to stay with family. The boys get to see all of their cousins, and get spoiled by their aunts and uncles. It's a jolly good time. However, that's not a trip I can afford to take every year. To ease the disappointment, I decorate the house, purchase gingerbread-scented candles, and do whatever I can to make home feel a little more special for the holidays.

The thought that counts. Every weekend in December, I make it a point to find a holiday craft to do with the boys. We bake cookies, make Christmas cards, create ornaments and more. This adds a special dimension to the holidays, outside of buying gifts.

Throw a party. Invite the schoolchildren, or the neighbors, and have a gift exchange. The excitement can help offset those unrealistic expectations.

Your holiday season doesn't have to be spoiled by unrealistic expectations. Relax, be honest with yourself and your children, and put things into perspective to make the holidays special and reduce the stress.

About the Author:
My name is Sherri Stafford and I'm an active mother who loves seeing her children happy during the holidays. When I'm not planning holiday activities, I'm helping the unemployed find finance recruitment companies to work with

Guest Post: Can the Time of Year You Are Born Affect How Well You Do at School?

2011-11-25T06:00:00.003-06:00

by Rachel

Can the Time of Year You Are Born Affect How Well You Do at School?

There has been much research into whether the time of year that you were born has any effect on both academic achievement in childhood and on the rest of your child’s life.

A new study published by the Institute of Fiscal Studies has shown that among seven year old children, those born in August are three times more likely to be below average than those children who were born in September. The study also noted that children born in August are 20% less likely to attend one of the UK’s top universities.

The problems could arise from the way the intake parameters in British schools work. Children who are born in August are sometimes nearly a year younger than classmates who were born in September, and this can have a undoubtedly have a negative effect on them during these crucial developmental years.

Because school begins in September, those children who were born in August are usually only a month into the school age that a classmate born in September has been for nearly an entire year. At such an early age, it is often said that children are like sponges; it makes logical sense that children who have had 11 months more to soak up information and to learn new habits will have an advantage over the younger children in the school year.

In essence, it could be said that August children are playing catch-up throughout their educational lives and this could go some way towards explaining the recently released IFS statistics. Of course, this is not the only bearing on how academically successful a child is at school, or on how well they adapt into adolescence and beyond.

Interestingly, a link has also been made between happiness and the time of year that you are born. Could this be linked in any way to educational development and a sense of belonging amongst peers who are quite a bit older within a certain year group? It goes without saying that family background, your child’s health and other obvious factors such as the type of school will also be important factors. But if you think about it, a child who is significantly younger than their peers may be vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy if they are not provided with the support they need to compensate for the age difference at this crucial stage in their life.

Despite reports such as this recent study, however, it’s important to remember that each child is individual and unique. No matter what time of year your child is born, or how far behind others in their year group they may begin their educational life, they have many years ahead of them in which to catch up. Every child will learn and develop in their own way, regardless of this.

This post was written by Rachel, a freelance education blogger who was educated at home before attending boarding school and Oxford University.

From One Mother to Another - Mother Knows Best!

2011-11-23T00:01:00.003-06:00

Be Confident In Who You Are! by Jodi Ciampa

When my son was still a baby, it always irritated me when people would tell me what my child needed. I know it’s a motherly instinct (and I’m sure I do the same thing now too), but it made me nuts when people would say he was cold, tired or hungry, just because they thought so. And what would make me more aggravated was I would listen just to get them off my back EVEN IF I knew that wasn’t what he wanted at the time. Then, I would end up being angry at them when I really should have been angry at myself because I let them overpower me.

Don’t let anyone tell you what to do and / or how to raise your child. People tend to forget what it is like to raise small children, especially when it comes to discipline. My husband and I tend to be on the stricter side, but we often hear how easy it is to be around our children and how well behaved they are. We attribute that to strong discipline. Yes, we are very fortunate to have healthy children but I believe good morals, value and the proper amount of discipline play an even bigger role.

My feeling is if you believe you are doing what is best for your children, whether it is eating habits, sleeping patterns, rewards or punishments, then tell everyone else to “back off”. (Nicely, of course.) Don’t second guess yourself. It is important to ask for help and advice when you need it, but don’t compromise yourself in return. I’m not saying to have a chip on your shoulder but remember - you’re the mother, you know your child and what is best for them. What you say goes!

From One Mother to Another - “A” is for Effort

2011-11-16T00:01:00.001-06:00

The Effort has to Count for Something! By Jodi Ciampa

Growing up, my grandparents on my father’s side had two homes – a Florida home and a New Jersey home; and as many grandparents do, they would live where the warm weather was. Each year, my sister and I were fortunate enough to go for a visit. It was something that I looked forward to very much and as most grandmothers do, ours would make sure we had everything we needed, did anything we wanted and had no responsibilities until we had to go home. It was a dream come true for a kid. Looking back on it, my grandmother – who is now 92– kept us busy from the moment we woke until the moment we went to bed; and now having two children of my own, I think how exhausting that must have been for her.

Well as I got older, I do remember trying to help her as much as I could. I recall one time after a day out with just her; we came back to rest before dinner. We walked into the kitchen and there were crumbs on the counter, a dirty knife in the sink and a used napkin on the floor. The room wasn’t really messy but it was not as clean as it was when we left. My grandmother just sighed, knowing that “Poppa” made himself lunch, and she proceeded to pick up the napkin and toss it in the garbage, put the knife in the dishwasher and wiped the crumbs from the counter. So I said, “Isn’t that annoying?” Then what she said, I’ll never forget. She told me that at least he tried to clean up after himself, and she had to give him credit for that.

Now, being an adult and dealing with my own families “messes”, I try to remember what my grandmother said. I do give my children chores, such as making their beds, bringing down their laundry, putting away their toys and kitchen duties but sometimes I need to be reminded that they are not going to do it “the way I do” or get it “as clean as I want it”. This goes for my husband too. (He has caught me a few times rewiping the table, refolding clothes or remaking the bed after he has done it.) What I’ve learned was instead of encouraging him to help out, I was discouraging him because who really wants to do something if they think they are going to be criticized or their job is going to be torn apart. And now that my kids are older and we are all much busier, I do so appreciate all their efforts even if it is “not my way.” What I think is “at least I don’t have to do it” and talk myself into believing the effort is there and that’s what counts. So no matter how poorly the kids clear the table or if I find a paper plate in the sink instead of the garbage, I just say thank you or great job and leave it at that because I know if I keep finding the fault in what they are doing instead of the effort made, the effort is going to fall to the waste side and that will be my fault entirely.

**A quick thank you to those who have sent in responses to my last post “What Does Motherhood Mean to Me?” Everyone else, keep them coming! I’m really enjoying reading them and don’t worry about what you write or how you feel, speak from the heart. You never know who you might make feel better because they feel the same way as you. I’m certain we have all felt the same way as you at one time or another! Thanks again.** Jodi Ciampa

Photographing Your Child In Public

2011-11-12T07:26:00.001-06:00

By Claire Hegarty

I came across this article where a father was almost arrested for taking a photo of his own daughter as she ate ice cream in a shopping Mall in Scotland.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2047655/Father-calls-shopping-centre-boycott-quizzed-police-taking-photos-daughter.html?ITO=socialnet-facebook-dailymail

While I can understand that people may not want their children photographed by strangers, due to paedophilia and child molestations, I think the action on the part of the security guard here was a bit extreme. I have often taken pictures of my child in the shopping mall and nobody ever seems to have a problem with it. I have also taken pictures in playgrounds without thinking about it too much.

When I took my child for swimming lessons and asked if I could photograph him in the pool, I was actually admonished by the instructor. I explained It would just be him in the picture and that I could show her the picture so that she could check but I was again given a very definite thumbs down. One parent agreed with the instructor whereas another said she couldn't see the harm.

Why not have a read of the article above? I would love to hear what others think?

From One Mother to Another - What Does Motherhood Mean to Me?

2011-11-09T00:01:00.001-06:00

Motherhood - by Jodi Ciampa

Motherhood – The Act of Being a Mother. How can such a vaguely defined word have so much meaning? How can such a simple sounding word be so engrossing, exhilarating and empowering at the same time? How can one word change your existence forever?

Motherhood – A Life Changing Event. We all go through them. Good, Bad, Happy or Sad. They alter our lives and make us who we are. But the events that surround motherhood not only alter our lives, they devour us. Motherhood changes the way we think, feel and behave. It changes the way we live. It changes not only who you are but what you are, until YOU are no longer YOU anymore.

Motherhood – A Roller Coaster of Emotions. From the extreme highs that make giving up yourself so amazing to the bottomless lows which can take over in an instant. No one truly understands how such a simple sounding, vaguely defined word can consume who you are until they let it define who THEY are.

The most grueling, demanding yet astounding act a woman can encounter.

Motherhood – this simple sounding, vaguely defined word means life.

Now I want to know what you think. What Does Motherhood Mean To You? I’m looking for anyone who would like to contribute and be a part of the first edition of my online magazine, “From One Mother to Another”. Please send your write-ups, via the body of an email, to jodi4100@optonline.net. Be sure to include how many children you have, if any, where you live and a picture (optional). (And not only mothers need to respond!) Thanks so much in advance! I look forward to reading them!

Teaching your Child to deal with Bullies

2011-11-05T09:43:00.000-05:00

With all ofthe media coverage on bullying lately, I felt like it was something I wanted totouch on a little bit. I have dealt with bullying my entire life; bullies havevictimized my children--and I had to deal with bullying at a young age.Teaching a child to handle themselves around bullies can be a difficultprocess; most bullies do not use the same methods, nor do they have the samereasoning for bullying in the first place.

One of themost important defenses to instill in your child—and one that often goes undone—isto let someone know that they are being bullied. Most often, children areafraid to let someone know that another child is picking on them. The bully maytell the child that they will be in bigger trouble if they tell, they maythreaten a friend or loved one (even a younger sibling if you are dealing withelementary or middle school kids) or they simply tell the child that they are asnitch or a baby if they tell. All of reasons can cause a child not to speakout against the person bullying them. Little children may become even moreafraid of the bully, while older children (middle school or high school) willnot want to be labeled as a snitch.

My daughterfaced this issue a couple of years ago. I have written before about how she isstubborn and independent, while this statement is more than true, she does notalways react the same way in social situations. When she was in first grade, alittle girl in her class literally made her life miserable. To look at thischild, you would have never known or thought that she was capable of bullying.She was very small, was extremely polite to adults and was simply the picture ofbeauty. However, behind the backs of adults this beautiful, small andexceptionally polite child was behaving like a complete terror.

Thesituation began with things as simple as hair pulling and bossiness. She wouldtell my child where to sit, what to play and who she could talk to. At home, mydaughter can be overly controlling with her brothers; at school, she wantseveryone to like her and be her best friend—this of course can easily become aproblem.

My daughterbegan telling me about the little girl who was picking on her, so I asked herteacher to just keep an eye out for anyone picking on my daughter. I know that attimes, children can misconstrue situations and I did not want to assumesomething incorrectly. At an elementary cheerleading event, I witnessed thebullying for myself—when the children did not think parents were looking. I politelyintroduced myself to the children around my daughter and excused her from theirgroup, moving her farther down the lines she was in and away from thoseparticular kids. The little girl picking on my daughter actually asked me why Imoved Tarasen and I simply told her that it looked like they were starting toargue and that everyone needed to be nice to everyone else.

I had hopedthat the simple observation that parents were watching would calm the bullyingto some degree--it did not. My daughter began having to deal with being pushedaround in the bathroom, having her hair pulled during lunch and recess andbeing hit in the back of the head when no one was looking. Her teacher insistedit was simply the other girl’s way of asserting authority—this was not ananswer I took lightly. I explained to the teacher that I felt that assertingauthority was no reason to hurt another child; her only other thoughts werethat the child was older than Tarasen, which made her want to make Tarasen dowhat she said. It was only after I went to the principal of the school that thebully subsided to a degree.

My stepsonalso had to deal with bullying when he was young. I once spent an entire daywith him and his 6^th grade class (which was about 8 or 9 years ago),because of a fight he got into with a child who had been picking on him forquite some time. The child had stabbed him in the hand with a pencil, leavingthe pencil lead in his hand—this was the last straw for him and he fought back.I do not condone fighting; however, I do condone my children not allowingthemselves to be harmed by someone else.

My point tothis rather lengthy story is that the people bullying our children are quiteoften not those we would expect to be a bully and they usually know how to doit undetected—even at the age of six.

It isimportant that we instill a few rules into our children’s minds concerningbullying, so that we can keep them safe when we are not around.

1. 1. Always tell an adult. Even if yourchild has been told they will be a snitch or a tattletale, they need to knowthat telling an adult can help keep them safe. If the adult that they tell doesnot do anything about the situation, they need to find another adult whom theycan trust.

2. 2. Always tell their parents. Oftenchildren seek out someone else besides their parents—for varying reasons. Thebottom line is you need to know what is going on with your child.

3. 3. Remove themselves from the situation.Until something has been done about the bullying, tell your child to stay asfar away from the bully as possible. This does not always work, as most bullieswill seek out the child and wait until they are alone or in a small group.Children need to know to stay with their friends, in larger groups, as much aspossible.

4. 4. Always tell their parents. Yes, Irealize that I have this one down twice—and for good reason. If your child isbeing picked on, you need to know. It may be a mild situation that willeventually escalate to something worse. Be nosey, ask questions; find out whatis going on in your child’s life on a daily basis.

Finally, oneof the most important pieces of advice I can give another parent—as someone whowas bullied themselves and has seen their children bullied—is to always listento your child. Parents sometimes dismiss what their children say, thinking thatthe situation will work itself out or that the child is exaggerating. Alwaystake your child seriously, even when the situation seems insignificant.

Over thepast few years, we have seen countless stories in the media regarding childrenwho have been pushed to the limits by bullies, and taking the situation intotheir own hands. We have read stories about children who have committed suicideor harmed another child after putting up with long-term bullying. While most ofthese situations concerned teenagers in high school or college, bullying alsodramatically affects elementary and middle school children.

If we canteach children how to handle bullying situations when they are younger, perhapswe can help them be better prepared to deal with bullying situations when theyare older. Every child has the right to be safe, in any setting and situation,and it is up to us to make sure that they are.

From One Mother to Another-Am I Normal?!?

2011-11-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

Motherhood has a way of making you feel not “Normal”.

By Jodi Ciampa

Even if you don’t develop signs of pre or post partum depression, you may still have negative thoughts during pregnancy and after, and this is totally normal. During my first pregnancy, I remember feeling if I woke and my belly was gone, it wouldn’t bother me or if someone told me my delivery was a dream, I wouldn’t care. It was so surreal. With my second, even after it was confirmed by my obstetrician, I took six pregnancy tests because I didn’t believe it was true. Well, if you’ve ever felt this way, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

It is normal to not feel an immediate bond with your child. It is normal when the novelty of having a newborn wears off and you are so sleep deprived you feel as if you don’t want it anymore. It is normal to feel neglected or cry because you feel out of control for no reason. It is normal to not like your kids or not want to play with them because there are a million other things to do. It is normal to get angry and blow up once in a while because sometimes they deserve it. It is normal to feel lonely because you have “no one” to talk to. It is normal to clean your house in pieces. It is normal to have no time to take a shower. It is normal to feel disoriented and forget what you are doing before you even do it. It is normal to not want to have sex with your husband (even if he doesn’t think so), and it is normal to feel resentment towards him because it seems as if the weight of the world is on you.

Don’t beat yourself up. My friend’s mother told me, “You make all your mistakes with your first.” and a father of six said, “You are the best parent with your last”. Accept it, learn from it and move on. Nothing can be perfect all the time and eventually, it does get easier. When you get acclimated to having a baby, life will find a “new” NORMAL.

In the meantime, help yourself feel normal again. Don’t be a martyr. Ask for assistance. Whether it’s from your husband, mother, sister, brother or friend - it doesn’t make you incapable; it makes you human. With my son, I wanted to do it all and definitely thought I could…and therefore did. I never wanted him to leave my side. I did nothing for myself and became bitter and angry, which caused me and my husband to argue a lot, on top of all the “new parenting” disagreements. Once we had our daughter, I realized I couldn’t do it all and trying wasn’t fair to me, my husband or my children. I made my husband the enemy because I felt his life hadn’t changed a bit. So I began asking for help. I now leave the children at home, if possible, and put myself first once in a while. (A small while, but it does make a difference.) I still feel as if the scale is tipped a bit (and probably always will), but I know I can get help when I really need it.

Another way to feel normal is to find someone you can share your feelings with. Your husband could and should be a sounding board, but he cannot be completely sympathetic because he cannot relate. If you are a working mom, whether it is part time or full time, talk with women who have children. If you are a stay at home mom, join a support group, gym, social network or just go to dinner with friends. Get involved and connected with something you enjoy. I joined a group called “After Baby Comes”, “ABC” for short, when my first was 17 months old. The original motive was to get my son exposed to playing with other children but the bonus was I met many women, some from my own town, whose children were around the same age as mine. From there, I learned a lot about myself especially; that I was not alone in the way I was feeling. It made me feel normal.

So don’t sit back and suffer thinking you are wrong in the way you feel. Reach out. Only YOU can make a difference in your life. My friend use to tell me how much better she liked her family after a little “break”. You’ll be a healthier mother for it and be surprised how many other mothers have similar or the same feelings as you and, they too, are totally NORMAL.

From One Mother to Another - Equalization of the Ages

2011-10-26T00:01:00.005-05:00

by Jodi Ciampa

Age is just a number when it comes to being a mother!

Remember when you were growing up and 30 seemed so old? Or when you were in high school and the thought of dating a college boy seemed so far out of reach? Well, when it comes to having babies, there is no greater equalizer. That’s why I call motherhood “Equalization of the Ages”. Whether you are 20 or 40, having your first baby or fifth; when it comes to raising children, every mother is “ageless”.

Some of my dearest friends could not be further apart in age, yet my life would not be the same without them. They have all given me immeasurable strength, at one point or another. A dear friend of mine who is 73 has been in my life for 22 years. I met her when I was 17 years old. She has seen me through the ending of my teens, dating, marriage and now, motherhood. Her knowledge has carried me through numerous triumphs, trials and tribulations and she has always been such a positive role model to me.

Then all the great friends who are such huge part of my daily life; I don’t think I could function if they weren’t here for me. Some I grew up with and others I met through my children, but we all have a common bond and there is at least a 10 year age span between us. Our children are basically the same age so we are experiencing the same highs and lows together. Despite where we live, whether it is 2 minutes or 2 hours, in desperate times (which include complaining about our husbands) we are there for each other in a flash.

It is so comforting to have trustworthy and reliable confidants around when you need an extra hand, listening ear or someone to laugh with. So believe in the saying, “age is just a number” and it couldn’t be more true when it’s From One Mother to Another.

Guest Post: Teaching Children Proper Behavior in a Restaurant

2011-10-25T15:17:00.002-05:00

by Velva Marchena

Just as children need to be taught how to go to sleep without a pacifier or how to drink from a cup, they also need to be taught how to behave properly in public. We have all been in a restaurant when a child throws a temper tantrum and you might even have been in a dressing room when a child is running around opening the curtains. Obviously, nobody wants to end up the parent of that child, but that can be hard when you're not quite sure how that behavior became acceptable to those parents in the first place.

Consistency
If someone came in and woke you up in the middle of the night, or didn't allow you to eat when you were hungry, you would probably be pretty cranky as well. Imagine that situation if you lacked the verbal skills to say why you were upset, and you would probably want to cry or scream, too. Making a schedule and sticking to it are invaluable steps to behavior training. Whenever possible make sure special events are planned around that schedule, giving your child less of an option to get off track and become hungry or miserable.

Distractions
Let's be honest, almost nobody likes standing in lines, but adults understand standing in line or waiting at a table. Little ones become bored and cranky very quickly, so having quiet distractions for them is a good idea. Inexpensive toys from the dollar store can often prevent a meltdown. You may want to reserve those special toys for only when you're out, so your child finds them entertaining and not boring – a good part of the routine of waiting. This idea is especially helpful if you are eating out and it seems to take forever for food to arrive.

Setting Expectations
Even a very young child instinctively wants to please their parents. By simply telling your child what will happen and how you want them to behave, you are setting the stage. Try not to say you will do a specific action ( like leaving, not getting dessert, having to sit in a booster seat, etc.), unless you plan to do it. Otherwise, you're actually setting yourself up for failure in the future because your child will think they can “get away with” that particular act since there were no repercussions previously.

Positive Reinforcement
Take a moment to tell your son or daughter what a great job they are doing and how proud you are of their good behavior. They will feel a sense of pride and are likely to double their efforts to behave. Yelling at your child will only make the problem worse but telling them about their positive choices is an act of kindness.
Even with the best of advice and the best of intentions, there are sure to be situations where it's not appropriate to bring a young child to a public restaurant. For every other situation, you can use these tips to encourage the proper behavior that you expect in public.

About the Author:
Velva Marchena recognizes the importance of teaching children how to behave in public, rather than expecting them to do so automatically. When she's not with her kids, she's running her own business, using Metrofax online faxing, OpenOffice, and a number of other web services to streamline her publishing processes.

Guest Post: 10 Tips for Flying with Your Baby

2011-10-21T14:03:00.000-05:00

by Lindsey Webb

1. Buy an Extra Ticket.
The safest place for your baby on a plane is strapped into a car seat that’s fastened to a seat on the plane. While you can carry a child up to 24 months in your lap, unexpected bumps during takeoff, landing, and turbulence could cause your baby to fall. In other words, it’s worth the extra cost to buy another ticket. Make sure that the car seat is approved by the FAA to use on a plane – you may want to contact your airline for specific regulations.

2. Consider the Time.
You may want to fly at a time when your baby is used to sleeping, such as nap time or at night. Young babies actually sleep very well on planes due to the motion and the lull of the engine.

3. Know the Rules.
Check with both the TSA and your airline for rules about getting through security, boarding early, what counts as a carry-on, and details about traveling with formula or breast milk.

4. Get a Check-Up.
Have your pediatrician check your baby before the trip for any health issues such as ear infections that will be aggravated by plane travel. You may also want to ask them about tips for baby travel, such as giving your baby a little pain medication to help with ear discomfort due to pressure.

5. Adjust for Jet Lag.
If you’re traveling across multiple time zones, you may want to gradually adjust your baby’s eating and sleeping schedule a few days before departure. You should also consider making the first few days of your trip relatively low-key to help your baby adjust to the new time zone and surroundings.

6. Get There Early.
Security works a little differently at every airport, so it’s important to get there early in case the process takes extra time.

7. Bring Your Stroller.
Unless you plan on carrying your child in a sling or baby carrier, bring your stroller through security so that you can comfortably take your baby through the airport. Most airline allow parents to check strollers at the gate. When you arrive, you can pick it up right outside the plane door. Make sure that your stroller is clearly labeled with your contact information.

8. Be Prepared.
Bring extra clothing, diapers, wipes, food, pacifiers, toys, and blankets so that you have anything you might need for your baby during the flight. You should also bring a basic first-aid kit and any prescription medications. Babies can sometimes get stuffy noses on flights, so you may also want to bring an eyedropper with some saline drops to put in their nose.

9. Reduce Pressure.
One of the main difficulties of flying with a baby is that they don’t know how to relieve their ears of air pressure changes. Nursing, drinking from a baby bottle, or sucking on a pacifier will help reduce discomfort in their ears, especially during takeoff and landing.

10. Be Patient.
If your baby is fussy during the journey, try to stay calm and don’t worry about what the other passengers think. After landing, you may want to wait until most of the passengers have left the plane so that you can take your time getting everything together and carrying your baby off the plane. The flight attendants may even offer to help you if you’re one of the last ones on the plane.

Lindsey Webber is a certifies School Counselor for high school students. She has been practicing for 12 years. Lindsey also owns the site Masters Degree in Counseling.

Guest Post:Why Online Dating is a Good Option for Single Moms: Stereotypes Busted

2011-10-18T06:00:00.002-05:00

by Amy Reynolds

Dating is already tough enough as it is. And if you’re a single mom who is juggling an everyday life revolving around kids, school, work, ballet, soccer practice, etc. (the list goes on)…you know that it can be even more difficult to find the time for yourself… let alone someone with whom to share all the madness. So unfortunately finding a man that will fit into your life (and your kids’ lives) seems like a daunting task and tends to fall last on your never-ending list of priorities.

A good option that many single moms out there may have overlooked is online dating. However, because of the stereotypes associated with online dating, you might have your reservations and the preconceived notion that it’s not the road for you.

But when you think about it…we can use the internet for almost everything in our world; why not use it to find a relationship or companion that will enrich our personal lives? Here are the top three stereotypes that come with online dating and the truth behind them that may have you reconsidering the cyber highway to love:

Stereotype #1: Online dating is for the desperate.

False. If you sign up to a dating site, you will find that there are plenty of individuals just like you who are connected. You will also find that there are plenty of good looking men with legit professions—tons of successful doctors, lawyers, CEOs and such—professions associated with the word “desperate?” I think not.

Sometimes people just haven’t had any luck and have been emotionally scarred by dating through the conventional method so online dating is a great idea for them. Just because someone is dating by means of the internet doesn’t mean that it’s their last resort before saddling up for a life alone collecting coins and cats…it just means that these people are clever and are meeting interesting people by expanding their search and broadening their horizons.

Stereotype #2: Dating sites are too expensive.

I get it. Life in general is expensive. And just thinking about the money you spent to fill up the car this week along with your family’s grocery bill is enough to send you and your wallet into panic mode. With that being said, the last bill you can imagine adding to the ever growing stack is a bill for your online dating life. But the truth of the matter is that not all dating sites are expensive—there are even free ones available!

Consider it like this: an investment. Plus you can sign up to some legitimate dating sites for less than it would cost you for a night out with your girlfriends, waiting for Prince Charming to ride in on his white horse. And another added benefit is that you are able to search and weed out people you know aren’t matches from the beginning in comfort of your own home—after the kids are in bed, in your sweats with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s! That will save a lot of money (and time and energy) that you won’t have to spend on going through the hassles of a string of first dates with gentlemen callers who are less than desirable.

Stereotype #3: It’s embarrassing to say you met your partner online.

Years ago, this may have been the case. But with the world we live in today it’s pretty safe to say that you know at least one couple that met through an online dating service who now have a committed, healthy relationship. Many shake their heads regarding people who are searching online to find someone with whom to spend the rest of all time. But in this day in age with hectic schedules taking over our lives, it comes as no surprise as to why the popularity of internet dating has skyrocketed like it has. Nowadays you constantly hear about more and more success stories of boy meets girl…online.

Amy Reynolds also writes more on the subject of online dating for

Best Black Dating Sites.

Guest Post: Six Ideas For A Family Night That Even Your Teen Will Love

2011-10-17T14:44:00.000-05:00

by Ashyia Hill

Putting together a family night on a regular basis is a great way to keep your family communicating and close, and, of course, to have fun together! If you have a teenager in the family, you might have to be even more creative with your family night ideas, though, since teens are prone to dislike whatever their parents suggest. However, these are some great ideas that even your teenager is likely to enjoy.

1. Family Art Night
You don't have to be a super crafty family to enjoy family art night. You can take turns planning fun arts and crafts projects for everyone to enjoy, or you can all work on a giant art project together. Another great idea is to find a group painting or ceramics store in your area. They're becoming more and more popular, and they're a great way to enjoy a family night and get holiday gifts ready for the grandparents! At these stores, you can often pick out your own ceramics, paint them, have them fired, and have them ready to go as gifts that night!

2. Themed Movie Nights
Family movie nights are always fun, but when you go all out for your family movie night, it's even more fun. For these movie nights, pick a new movie or an old family favorite and enjoy themed foods and music before the movie. Around the holidays, try preparing a holiday-themed meal complete with Christmas cookies and watching a funny family movie like Christmas Vacation! Themed movie nights can be tailored for any age, and your family will love coming up with unique foods to go with your movie night.

3. Wii Night
Board game night is a thing of the past in many families, since there are more fun things like Wiis that you can play with now. Have a running family competition on Wii sports, or play classic board games like Sorry using the Wii. Your kids will enjoy creating their own Miis and using them to beat one another in some friendly competitions.

4. Bowling or Putt-Putt
If you have a bit more money to splurge on family fun night, consider going bowling or putt-putting together. These are both fun options for the whole family, especially if you're all a little competitive. Just make sure you scope out the local bowling alleys and miniature golfing lanes before you go, since some are more family-friendly than others. Also, check with group couponing sites like Groupon to see if there are any great deals on these family activities in your area.

5. Homemade Food Night
Making food together as a family can be fun and interesting. Many families have a regular homemade pizza night where everyone can make their own pizza. Others might enjoy baking cookies together, or even just making an entire meal from scratch. It's easy to get the kids involved with this one by having them plan the meals and go grocery shopping with you for the ingredients you need to cook a great meal together.

6. Fancy Picnic Dinner
In warmer weather, eating outside for a picnic dinner is fun. It's even more fun to dress up a little and make your family picnic something to remember. Splurge a little on some fine cheeses for the older kids to try, and bring along a bottle of wine for mom and dad and a bottle of sparkling grape juice for the little ones.

Ashyia Hill is a social media advocate with CreditDonkey, a credit card comparison blog. She hopes these six ideas are a hit with your family. Remember, you'll have the most fun with family game night when the kids are a big part of the planning process for this family fun night. One way to really get your teens involved, particularly, is to allow them to plan an entire family game night on their own. Give them a budget to work with, and give them either a low-limit credit card to use or a cash budget. Cash back credit cards can make it easy to track exactly where they spent their family night budget, but cash can be a good option, too, since there's no way they will overspend!

Whichever idea you decide to use, start having a weekly or monthly family game night now, and you'll create memories for your children that will last for decades to come.

International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2011-10-15T10:41:00.001-05:00

by Claire Hegarty

It was brought to my attention by someone who horrendously lost her baby sons, that today, October 15th, is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I had not heard of it, and on further investigation, it seems that it is not a day that is generally observed here in Ireland.

After a little research on the internet, I discover that it is observed annually in the United States since 2002 and in Canada since 2004. It gets many mentions on the parenting forums of other countries so it is gradually gaining credence around the world.

Statistics vary, but according to The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness and Research Institute http://www.pilari.org/, across the developed world, an estimated 500,000 miscarriages occur, most from unexplained causes, 1 in every 148 babies is stillborn, 3 in every 1000 babies dies shortly after birth, 1% of all reported abortions are conducted strictly due to severe foetal abnormalities and in underdeveloped countries, the statistics will be tragically worse. All together, this is a staggering amount of grief - usually suffered in silence and great misunderstanding. And this grief effects not only mothers, but fathers, grandparents, brothers and sisters and extended family.

It is horrible for any parent to lose a child and there are many different stages when this can happen. One of the saddest is to lose a life before that life has even begun properly. There is a saying that I have often quoted to myself when I complain about getting older 'Old age is a privilege denied to many'. Well, life and childhood is also a privilege denied to many. When we visit my father's grave, we pass by the little graves of lost children and I am always overcome by it. My little boy thinks that the little graves adorned with angels, toys and windmills are gardens made for children. While I pray there, he plays there, oblivious to the reality of it all. As I watch him play, I am always overwhelmed with love for him and for the lost ones.

In my own experience, I had one miscarriage before I had my little son and then two afterwards. The pain never really goes away and one child does not replace another. You may be able to to smile for the world outside but that doesn't mean that you aren't crying inside. You may be able to carry on for your other children if you have any, but it doesn't mean that your heart is not broken. The experience intrinsically changes you, in a way that cannot be fully explained to anyone who hasn't been through it. We can only hope, that as time goes on, we heal a little more, though we can never forget the lost ones.

On this, International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, the international 'Wave of Light' invites participants from around the world to light a candle in honour of the lost children, starting at 7pm in their respective time zones. The candle should burn for at least an hour in remembrance of all the children who die during pregnancy or shortly after birth.

And for the parents, as someone on one of the internet forums said 'the bleeding stops but the scars always remain'.'

Use the Credit Card.... From the Mouths of Babes!

2011-10-09T17:59:00.002-05:00

by Claire Hegarty

I love shopping for toys for my son and as gifts for other children. There's something magical and nostalgic about perusing the shelves. I enjoy coming across old favourites that are still around since I was a child. I also love discovering new toys and seeing what things my son gets excited about. I absorb the excited energy around me and I always leave feeling happy and elated.

That's usually what happens anyway, but not the other day. I was in the toy store happily drifting along the lines of toys. From the other side of the shelves, I heard a commotion. There was a little boy having a tantrum. I smiled sympathetically at the parents, as the child was refusing to put a toy back on the shelf. As parents, I think we have all been there. The mother was insisting he put the toy back and she would compromise by buying him a smaller, cheaper toy. The father said the toy was too expensive and that it would have to wait until Santa could bring it. The boy was having none of that and wailed loudly 'Just put it on the credit card! Put it on the credit card! Put it on the credit card!' And after five more minutes of unsuccessful negotiating, that's exactly what they did.

I was shocked to my core. I was shocked not because they had given in to the childs almighty tantrum and demands for the expensive toy. Rightly or wrongly, I have often given in or compromised on things myself for the sake of peace. I was shocked mainly because a three year old would even know what a credit card is, let alone that they could purchase something they couldn't afford on it. I was very glad my almost four year old wasn't with me to witness it. I don't think he even knows what a credit card is, mainly because I recently cleared and cut mine up, determined not to give him that example. I have spent years clearing credit card debts built up over time and I don't want that for him.

It would be interesting to hear what you think?

Slow Down - I miss him already!

2011-10-02T00:15:00.002-05:00

By Claire Hegarty

My little boy is growing up so fast. His baby, wobbler and toddler years have hurtled by. I just want the process to slow down a little. I miss my baby so much already!

The other day we had this conversation:

"Mammy, you love me very much, don't you?"
"Yes. I really do."
"I don't want you to be sad, Mammy. But when I get to be a big boy, I will have to leave you"
"I know you will have to leave some day but not until you are all grown up"
"But I will be four soon and that's grown up and big boys have to leave their Mammys when they are four"
Then he gave me a big hug and said "But don't worry, I will come back and visit and bring you and Daddy presents."

He will start big school next year so I am cherishing the time I get to spend with him now. It's a bit more difficult lately as he is becoming so independent. Oh, if only I didn't have to steal the hugs and kisses these days!

Combining Your Schedule with Your Kid's Schedules Easy as Pie or Recipe for Disaster

2011-10-01T22:43:00.000-05:00

Keeping up with everyone's schedules isn't always easy.

Photo courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

Over the last couple of weeks, my life has turned into a huge jumble of juggling doctor's appointments, dance practices, clients, housework, chauffeuring my son to work and normal everyday life, along with some snippets of bad news thrown in the middle. Trying to keep up with my schedule and my kid's schedules has been very hectic lately and has left me wondering how other mothers keep up with their schedules and their kid's schedules, without going insane.

I have dealt with hectic schedules before. Years ago, my stepson and my son both kept very rigorous academic and extra-curricular activity schedules and I seemed to successfully keep up with everything, all while toting an infant to every ballgame, academic meet, chess club meeting, Cub Scout meeting and Boy Scout meeting that we all had to attend. If I were to tell the truth, I would have to say it was easier then, when I was younger. Now, I find it difficult to schedule in time to blog and keep up with all of my work while turning on the dishwasher.

Fortunately, for me, I work from home. I have a luxury that many mothers don't have; I make my own schedule. All of you that work from home, like me, know that you can't schedule everything, you sometimes have to conform to the schedules of others. But, all in all, I can go where I please-whenever I please-all without having to ask anyone else if I can get up from my desk and leave. Not everyone can say that; many people have to worry about scheduling appointments on off days, leaving home early to pay bills before work and begging to leave work early when an emergency takes place. Without having to deal (at this point in my life) with all of the aforementioned stresses, you would think my life would be easier to deal with; sometimes it isn't. People who don't work at home even often say that they wish they had an easy schedule like mine; boy, if they only knew.

I have always attempted to keep a schedule, but somehow it has never really worked for me. I get busy and forget to write things down or I forget to glance at the calendar the first thing in the morning so that I clearly know what is going on for the rest of the day. With all of the chaos of the past two weeks, I have decided that I need a schedule and I need to keep up with it.

I am also trying to help my children learn to schedule themselves properly, in order to get everything done. Some people might think that is a little excessive, but I think that parents with busy children will understand perfectly. All of my children, including the 4-year-old, have chores that they must complete every day. When we kept a daily schedule on the refrigerator, their chores were done like clockwork and mommy was extremely happy. Now that I have become lax in keeping up with chore chart, things are going so well and because of my blunder, I am having to re-teach my children how to keep up with their chores and other things.

I homeschool my oldest son, so we have to have a schedule for his school workload. Now that he has a part-time job, we have had to adjust his study times which also adjusted his regular daily school work time. My daughter has added dance team to her list of things to do, along with Girl Scouts—which she has been in for four years. My youngest son starts preschool soon. He should have started already, but he is getting ready to have oral surgery in the next couple of weeks so I decided to delay his starting preschool until after the surgery is done. I have also added a couple of new clients to my own personal workload. All of this makes for an extremely busy household, especially when I try to ensure that we still have time to do things together as a family. My husband is the only one that doesn't have a zillion things on his list and he has a set work schedule. But even so, he stays busy trying to keep up with the rest of us and by helping me out by dropping off or picking up a child when I can't leave my computer screen.

I am hoping that the new schedule will help me stay focused and keep everything organized. I am going to have to push myself to stick with the schedule and also ensure that my kids schedules stay organized, without being overloaded.

How do you keep up with your schedule and your kid's schedule? Do you end up having to juggle things at the last minute or do you have everything under control? I'd love to hear your tips on staying organized and getting everything done. I am even behind with writing this post, partially because I overbooked myself for today and partially because my son confused his work schedule for this week with the one from last week. Leave a comment, let me know how you do it.

Prevent Colds in Children

2011-09-26T05:45:00.000-05:00

by Alyssa Ast- babies to big kids expert

It's that time of year again. School is back in full swing, and that mean the germs are going to wreak havoc throughout your household. My children started school the second week of August, and everyone in my house has been sick since the third week of August. It's one thing after another, and it doesn't seem like there's an end in sight. We go through this every year when school starts, even when I take precautions to keep everyone healthy. You can't fully prevent colds in children, but there are certainly things you can do to reduce the occurrence.

Lots of hand washing- We have a rule in our house--you walk in the front door and you go wash your hands. It doesn't matter where we are coming from, but if you walk through the front door, you go straight to the bathroom to wash your hands before you do anything else, especially after coming home from school.
Don't touch anything!- Don't touch your face. Don't stick toys in your mouth. Don't stick your fingers in your mouth or nose. This goes for all the time, but especially when one child is sick. When we have a sick child, that cold can quickly spread, resulting in an entire house full of miserable people. When one child is sick, that child is given a few toys to play with while they are sick and are taught not to touch anything. Don't touch the remotes, the other kids' toys or anything else someone is going to use if you can help it. It also goes for the healthy children. Don't touch anything the sick child has touched. Yes, I know it isn't fully possible for them not to touch everything, it certainly makes it easier to disinfect what you know they have touched.
Stopping the spread- When I was a kid, we were taught to cover our sneezes and coughs with our hands. Well, now you're taught to sneeze and cough into your elbow. I don't care what body part you use as long as it's covered and washed when you're done coughing/sneezing.
Don't send your kids to school sick- I get so irritated with people who send their children to school sick. If you didn't send your child to school sick, mine wouldn't have gotten sick. Don't send your child to school if they have a fever, are shooting snot everywhere, are throwing up, have diarrhea or just look miserable. Think of how miserable your child will be stuck at school sick all day, not to mention the other 10 children and teacher who become sick because you sent you child to school.
Probiotics- Research shows probiotics may give the immune system a boost and decrease how often you become sick. It's not conclusive, but probiotics are healthy for your child anyway so give it a shot.
Healthy diet- Keep your children healthy even when they aren't sick. A healthy body is much less likely to to become ill and stay ill for a long time. Always have your child eat healthy and drink plenty of fluids.

Although you cant prevent all colds in children, there are certainly things you can do to help keep them healthy.

What do you do to prevent you children from becoming sick?

Use the Credit Card.... From the Mouths of Babes!

2011-09-25T07:14:00.003-05:00

Finding a Great Pediatrician

2011-09-19T12:01:00.003-05:00

by Alyssa Ast- babies to big kids expert

The right pediatrician makes all the difference when you have to take your children to the doctor-- for your children and your peace of mind. But, finding the right pediatrician can be difficult. I went through quite a few lemon doctors before finding the perfect pediatrician for my family. I quickly learned, you can't just point and choose one out of a phone book. I talked with other parents to see which ones they liked and which ones they didn't. I went to a doctor I had heard a ton of great things about, and ended up finding a doctor who works in his building was the perfect pediatrician for my family.

Red Flags
When you take your children to the doctor, there are certain red flags that should let you know, this doctor isn't right for you. One doctor I went to would see the kids and run out of the room within 5 minutes and was always so quick to write a prescription, without saying a word to us. I love this doctor we have now because there is no time limit. He spends a great deal of time with us and only writes prescriptions if he has too. He always recommends natural and home remedies, which I love because I hate giving my kids medicine if I don't have to.

If your doctor can't remember anything about your kid, even their name, find someone else. My doctor remembers everything about my kids. He remembers all of their names and all of their medical histories without having to look at charts. If I take one kid in, he will ask me about the other kids. How's that new medicine working out for your son? Did his foot heal ok? Those are huge bonuses in my book. He will even do quick check ups for each kid when only 1 child has an appointment.

If you're kids don't like your pediatrician, find a new one. I've learned some pediatricians aren't really kid friendly-- if you know what I mean. If your kids are afraid of them or don't feel comfortable with them, you should find a new doctor. My children love our doctor, and it's not just because he gives them toys. He makes sure they are comfortable and aren't scared. He takes the time to talk to them and get to know them at each appointment. His staff is the same way, which really makes it feel like you're seeing family or friends, not a doctor.

If you have a feeling that something just isn't right, trust your gut. If you have a feeling this doctor is kind of off, go with it. You don't want to take chances with your child's health. I really like our doctor because he addresses all of our questions and concerns, no matter how small they may be. He doesn't look at me like I'm crazy when I say my child has been really sick, even though they look perfectly fine once we get to the doctor--you know how kids are. He takes the time to talk with us and doesn't just rush out of the room. He definitely takes the scary out of going to the doctor, and I trust him with my children.

The right pediatrician makes all the difference when it comes to healthcare for your children. The only thing I don't like about our doctor is the long wait in the waiting room, but I deal with it because the wait is worth it in my eyes to see a great doctor.

Do you have an awesome pediatrician? How did you find your pediatrician? Any words of warning for other parents looking for a pediatrician.

Children At Weddings?

2011-09-18T12:24:00.000-05:00

by Claire Hegarty

In the past two weeks we have had the pleasure of attending two family weddings. Our young son was also invited. We were both happy with this arrangement as both weddings required overnight stays.

I mentioned to my friend how happy I was that we would be travelling and attending the weddings as a family. She retorted that she simply could not comprehend how anyone would invite children to a wedding. She said that she has actually refused to sit at a table where there were a group of children seated with their parents. As she doesn't have children herself, she doesn't want to be surrounded by them when trying to enjoy herself. Before I had my son, I might not have liked the idea of being seated at a table with children either. However, I have to admit that I was a bit disturbed by her attitude.

Another friend said that they would not attend if their kids were not invited, that it would have to be an all family invite or nothing. This is another attitude I cannot understand, as I believe it is up to the Bride and Groom who they wish to invite to their wedding. With the current recession, it may be that it is down to a cost issue. Many people have had to cut their guest lists and not inviting young children is one of the best ways to do that. I was delighted my son was invited but, equally, I would have respected their wishes and been okay with it if they hadn't invited him.

In most cases, and definitely at Irish weddings, alcohol is provided and consumed freely throughout the day, so it's not the most suitable occasion for children. However, most of the parents I know either abstain or certainly drink in a controlled way until it's time to put the children to bed in the hotel. At child free weddings no such considerations have to be made. Some people choose not to take their children even if they were included on the invite and this is also acceptable. Parents sometimes like to have a bit of time off from parenting and will pay a childminder or family member well for that privilege.

I wonder what others out there think of children at weddings? I would love to hear some views..

Dealing with an Outspoken, Independent Child

2011-09-17T10:04:00.000-05:00

Photo provided by freedigitalphotos.net

I have known since the day my daughter was born that raising her would be a little more difficult than it would be with my sons. When she came along – which will be 10 years ago in April—my stepson was 10 and my oldest biological child was seven. She was a bubbly bundle of joy, full of life and showing a few signs of being a little demanding. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, she was a baby and we all know babies are demanding, so it didn’t quite sink in that she was asserting her personality even from this young age. As time went on, it became very apparent.

I could talk about my daughter all day long and never change the subject. She is beautiful, intelligent, energetic, curious and a little too independent for both our goods. At nine, she somehow thinks she is 17 – a day that already strikes fear in my soul. I am hoping that she calms down a bit before that time. I have a 17 year old now (his 17^th birthday is one week away) and sometimes I feel as if there are two teenagers living in this house, as her need for independence greatly outshines his.

My daughter questions everything, and I do mean everything, that I do. The clothes I pick out, the part I put in her hair when I help her fix it, the type of music I allow her to listen to--everything. Now, I know you are thinking every child does that; well, you haven’t met my daughter. Sometimes, these “I know more than you do” moments go on for days. I try to give in where I can, because I want her to assert her own individuality, but there are times when I have to put my foot down and say no.

I fear that I am part of the problem. A few years ago, my children’s father and I divorced and my daughter had the hardest time of all my kids when their dad left. When I say she had a hard time, it is quite the understatement. My daughter went through both emotional and physical issues at the time, due to stress. During that time, I was especially worried about her and spent a lot of time trying to help her heal. We both felt helpless during that time. I felt helpless because I didn’t know to help her and she felt as if she had been abandoned. It was a difficult time. As she began to heal, I never quite got over that need to continually pamper her and to go way beyond the norm to her feel loved and wanted.

Today, my daughter is back to the child she once was, along with an extra boost of independence. While I sometimes find myself struggling with that part of her, I would never want to go back to a few years ago when I cried everyday fearing my daughter wouldn’t snap out of her depression.

I guess I can see this constant pre-teen battle as practice for the teen years, when I will most likely actually lose my mind.

Do you have an overly independent child? I would love to hear one of your stories about your independent child. I am sure you will be hearing more about mine.

Parental Confessions

2011-09-12T06:05:00.000-05:00

by Alyssa Ast- babies to big kids expert

Lets face it, parenthood doesn't come with an instruction manual. We all make mistakes, even if we don't like to admit it. When my first child was born, I was totally clueless as to what I was doing, and I'm sure I made more mistakes than I'm even aware of. Like my grandmother and mother say, the first one is just practice for those to come. Sometimes I feel bad for my oldest because of the mistakes we made with him, but now that I look back at some of those mistakes, they are kind of amusing, even though they weren't at the time. I'm going to put on a brave face and share a few of my parental confessions with you. Please don't judge. Be honest, you know you have some moments too.

Confession 1- I lost my son.
My oldest son was a royal headache as a baby. He had colic so he screamed ALL the time, plus he insisted on eating every hour and a half. When he was about 3 weeks old, sleep deprivation set in with full force. Half the time I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep. So, one day when he was down for a nap, I used the opportunity to get some chores done even though I should have been sleeping. After doing the dishes, I realized he had been sleeping much longer than usual so I decided to go check on him. I went to look in the crib and he wasn't there. Oh, that's right I put him in the playpen, but when I got to the playpen he wasn't there. At this point my heart was racing, and I began running thru the house in a panic trying to find him. How could I lose a 3 week old baby!? So, about the point I was in tears and debating about calling the police in case someone kidnapped him, he started crying, which is when I looked down and, "Oh, there he was." I had put him in the little cradle chair and probably walked by him at least 10 times in my frantic search.

Confession 2- A new meaning to baby sitting.
I was busy washing laundry one day and had this enormous pile of clean clothes on our bed. After finishing the last load, I plopped down on the bed to begin the daunting task of folding when I felt what I thought was the remote under my behind. It turned out to be my son's leg. My husband had put him on the bed to change him and with all the clothes on the bed, he sort of just blended in. Luckily, no harm was caused and he was perfectly fine, but it gives a whole new meaning to baby sitting.

Confession 3- Baby bottle mishap.
When my son was about 5 months old he was holding his bottles on his own. So I made him a bottle one day like I had done a hundred times before, took the cap off and handed it to him when the entire bottle poured on his face as he went to drink it. Opps, I forgot to put the nipple in...

Confession 4- You only need 1 eye anyway.
I was reading my kids a bedtime story one night, when my middle son leaned back and began to fall off the bed. I lunged forward to grab him before he fell and hit the toy box by the bed, but as I grabbed him I ended up poking him in the eye. This of course left a black eye and a huge scratch across his face. Looking back, the injuries probably would have been less if I hadn't tried to catch him, but well, my intentions were good.

Confession 5- Stuck in a tight place
We bought my daughter a really cute Easter dress for her first Easter. I mean it was beautiful. When we got home from the store we couldn't wait to try it on. She looked adorable in it! So after she was in it for a few minutes we decided it was time to put it away until Easter, only problem was we couldn't get it off. It went on so easily but just would not come off! After about 10 minutes of her screaming while we tried to get it off we had to cut the dress off of her. So much for that dress.

Confession 6- Hosed down.
My oldest son was the first baby I ever held, fed and changed. He was my first everything as far as babies go. The first day he came home from the hospital, I was changing his diaper on the changing table. After I had thrown the diaper in the trash, I turned around to put the clean diaper on when I realized the changing table was leaking. What?! How could the changing table be leaking? I looked around for water bottles, for anything that could be causing the leaking when I realized my shirt was all wet too. I finally looked at my son and realized he was the cause of the leaking changing table. Lesson learned.

Ok, I was brave and shared my less than finest moments. Now it's your turn. Lets hear your parental confessions!

And just for the record, I have never dropped any of them.

A Great Day In This World...

2011-09-11T12:19:00.001-05:00

By Claire Hegarty

Today started with a visit from my husband's American cousin, an ex firefighter. How appropriate that she should arrive today on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. With Washington, New York and other states on high alert, she refused to allow it to stop her travelling to the land of her ancestors, Ireland.

My little boy, who is almost four was listening to our conversation about 9/11. We were talking about a T-shirt, which her division of firefighters had to commemorate the tragedy. We mentioned what an awful day that was in the events of this world.

Everyone, I am sure, can remember with clarity where they were when the news of the tragedy exploded onto our radar. It was near to 2pm and I was at my workplace, having just finished lunch. I was in my office working on my computer when a colleague ran in and ushered me up to the library to see the footage of what was happening. It was shocking, gut wrenching and sickening. Everyone watched in complete silence. I will never forget that moment.

Today will end with us watching a programme about the Irish firefighters and others with Irish connections and their 9/11 stories. I don't want to watch it but I feel, out of respect and solidarity that I will. My little boy, remembering the phrase we used earlier looked at us and said 'but Mammy, isn't today a great day in this world?'.

And indeed it is. It's wonderful that a small child can remind us how lucky and privileged we are to be alive and well today. Just as those people who set out on a normal day in September 2001, we don't know what's before us. I salute my boy for reminding me, how important it is that we should celebrate each day we get to live and love as a great day in this world..................

A Great Day In This World...

2011-09-11T12:16:00.002-05:00

Indoor Blues: Allowing Children to Release Built-Up Energy

2011-09-10T08:33:00.000-05:00

Photo provided by

Free Digital Photos

A friend of mine asked me the other day how I had such patience with kids, I had to giggle out loud a bit because sometimes I feel like my patience is worn very, very thin – something we all feel from time to time.

Honestly though my friend is right, I have always had a lot of patience where kids are concerned – far more patience than I have had with adults who attempt to act like children. I have never had a problem with kids playing too loudly or running around being kids, even when it drove other people (including the other kid’s parents) crazy. I figure they are only little once and if they are not damaging anything, let them have fun. Kids need to get rid of some of that bottled up energy they have before its time to quiet down and rest.

In all honesty, I don’t think it’s that I have this overwhelming amount of patience where kids are concerned; I simply believe that many parents (the friend above in particular) don’t let their children get rid of all of that bound up energy. When I was a child, I had played outside constantly. I grew up in a rural area and I had a large front and back yard to play in, not to mention a creek where I could skip rocks and several hills filled with trees to climb and flowers to pick that I was allowed to venture part of the way into. I played outside with my dogs and helped my parents do things on our small farm. Believe me when I say I had a lot of ways to release extra energy and that I was more than ready for bed when night came, at least on most days.

On average, I don’t think most kids play like we did when I was little and definitely not like when my mother was a child – before the invention of video games and the 24-hour cartoon channel. Most children I know stay indoors most of the time, watching Disney or Nick-Toons or attacking zombies and hunting hidden treasures in video games. I’m not downing video games or cartoons, I am a gamer and I love to sit down and watch quality cartoons with my kids. However, I do believe there comes a time when children need to get outside and get a little dirty, even if it is only every now and then.

My 9-year old daughter has the energy of ten 3-year olds on most days and she can use her super powers to flat out draw the life right from your body if you let her. If I allowed her to stay indoors all of the time, I would be constantly exhausted and she would never sleep. So, how do we deal with this energy, we go outside and play. Now, I am the first to admit that I am old, my 42-year old body can’t take what it used to, but overall I can still hold my own. We go outside for walks in the evening or go strolling through the garden to pick ripe vegetables.

My husband and I also have our youngest kids go outside and play for at least 30 minutes a day in the front yard. We do this simply because we think it can be too easy to slip in front of the TV screen and become zombified until it is time for dinner.

Maybe I have a little more patience than some people do with kids. I wanted children for a long time and was told early on in my adulthood that I couldn’t have them. Thank God, the doctors were wrong and I now have three beautiful children. I am sure that my desire to have kids when I thought I couldn’t has a little to do with my patience level. However, I also think that it has to do with the fact that my kids are not always stuck in the house all of the time, especially since they all have the energy level of a nuclear reactor.

How often do your children play outside?

You Are What You Eat: School Lunch vs Packed Lunch

2011-09-05T06:34:00.000-05:00

by Alyssa Ast- Babies to Big Kids Expert

For many families, the new school year has already started, which has probably caused you to decide whether your child will buy a school lunch or take a packed lunch. The saying "you are what you eat" comes to mind when trying to decide what will be the best option for your child.

For my family, there wasn't any question about it--my children will take packed lunch to school. My reason for this is because I remember what lunches were like as a kid, and I prefer my children eat a "real" meal at school. However, I know many parents choose to let their children eat a school lunch. In my eyes, there's nothing wrong with this either. To each their own. I know many families can't afford to prepare lunches for their children during these tough times, and low-cost school lunches provide their child with a meal they might not have otherwise.

School Lunch vs Packed Lunch
Here's some information that was presented by the American College of Cardiology at a recent meeting regarding a study involving children who ate school lunches.

Were more likely to be overweight or obese (38.2% vs. 24.7%)
Were more likely to eat two or more servings of fatty meats like fried chicken or hot dogs daily (6.2% vs. 1.6%)
Were more likely to have two or more sugary drinks a day (19% vs. 6.8%)
Were less likely to eat at least two servings of fruits a day (32.6% vs. 49.4%)
Were less likely to eat at least two servings of vegetables a day (39.9% vs. 50.3%)
Had higher levels of LDL "bad" cholesterol

Now, in my opinion, school lunches aren't solely the cause of children being overweight. There are numerous other factors that are responsible for children being overweight, not just the fact they ate a school lunch. The way I see it, it's just another ploy people are throwing around due to the rising "obesity epidemic." No, school lunches may not be the healthiest thing in the world, but children could be eating far worse things for lunch or nothing at all.

I choose to have my children take a packed lunch because I know what they are eating and where it come from. Yes, there are days we are running late and I won't have time to fix their lunches, so the option of a school lunch is great. Plus, some days they see pizza on the menu and will buy their lunch that day.

I think the school lunch vs packed lunch debate really comes down to personal preference and the situation your family is in.

What is your stance on the school lunch vs packed lunch debate?

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