The WM Parenting Connection

By Alyssa Ast- Babies to Big Kids Expert





With Summer quickly upon us, there are many Summer safety tips to keep in mind. You already know to watch your children near water, apply sunscreen, and stay well hydrated. But, there are other Summer safety tips that often go forgotten-- which can result in serious injuries. Here are some other Summer safety tips to keep in mind:

• When using infant, toddler, and booster seats remember to cover them with a towel or light blanket when you get out of the car. The plastic and metal parts on the seats can quickly heat up and lead to burns if a child is placed on them. To prevent this, cover the seats!


• During the Summer, kids love to run around without shoes on. This is okay in most instances but remember, even if the temperature isn't very high outside, sidewalks and pavements can still be very hot. Your child can easily burn their feet by running across hot pavements.


• Speaking of sidewalks and pavements, fun with water is a large aspect of summer. Remember pavements get slippery when they are wet. This can lead to a child falling and becoming seriously injured. Make it a firm rule to walk on any wet surface.


• As summer sets in, so do the insects. This can be a large problem, especially in areas that have West Nile Virus. Make sure you have a good supply of bug repellent when your children are outside.


• Snakes and other critters love the Summer just as much as your children do. They can hide in unsuspecting places and lead to serious injuries to young children. Make sure you check your yard well for snakes, scorpions, and other dangerous summer critters.


• Summer is the perfect time for family BBQ's. However, this is also the perfect time for injuries. When BBQing, make sure you keep the BBQ out of the way. A child can run around a corner quickly and hit a BBQ, resulting in severe burns. It only takes a second for a child to not pay attention to when they are going and burns to occur.

Photo: "Boy in Safety Glasses" By Hisks

Summer Safety: What Not to Forget

by Shari Downhill, Teen &Tween Expert

Belladonna (atropa belladonna) is commonly known as Nightshade and contains constituents which are toxic to humans at certain levels. These include scopolamine, hyoscyamine, and atropine that, while they have legitimate medical uses at low doses, induce delirium and hallucinations when taken in higher amounts.

The History of Makeup

Stay at Home Mom Survival Guide for Summer Vacation

By Stacey Celaya - Family Health Expert

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend - a time to remember fallen heroes that died serving our country and protecting our freedom. So please take a moment of your time to remember the fallen and honor the freedoms that their ultimate sacrifice provides us.

Besides being a day of remembrance Memorial Day weekend also serves as the official kick off celebration to summer. Many of us will be hosting or attending some sort of holiday festivities probably along the lines of a BBQ or picnic.
Very often the food prepared for these events are steeped in tradition, made with love and let's be honest; full of fat.

But with our nation holding the title of one of the fattest countries in the world and with the number of people suffering from diabetes, heart disease and a host of other diet and exercise related preventable diseases, maybe it's time for us to rethink our summertime BBQ food fare.

So here are a couple of ideas for yummy, non-artery clogging, non diabetes inducing food swaps so we can all live to see many, many more Memorial Day, kick off summer, BBQ's!

Hamburgers
-use extra lean ground beef
-ground turkey
-ground chicken

Potato/Macaroni salad
-broccoli salad (I know, I know.. there are some great recipes on the web)
-fruit salad
-pasta/pesto salad

Chips/dip
-veggie plate with lite ranch
-whole grain crackers with hummus
-lite quacamole
-salsa with baked tortilla chips

Apple pie
-berries with nonfat cool-whip and angel food cake
-fruit kababs
-big bowl of grapes

These are just a few ideas of easy ways to swap out some foods to make our BBQing experience a little healthier.

For some great recipe ideas check out these websites: http://www.sparkpeople.com, http://www.foodfit.com, http://www.eatwell.com

Making Memorial Day Healthier

By Michael Horvath, Stepparenting

Respect

By Pam Houghton

I used to go in and deep clean my kids’ rooms pretty regularly. Meaning – I vacuumed, dusted, straightened, organized and left a pretty smell in their rooms with generous doses of orange-scented Pledge.

Now that my daughter is 16 and son is 14? Not so much.

I can’t exactly say they’re terribly interested in deep cleaning their own rooms. But at least my son shows a little spunk once or twice year by becoming a whirling dervish of tidiness, throwing out old Pokemon cards, empty Cheez-Itz boxes, and jeans that no longer fit.

My daughter? The whirling dervish of tidiness has yet to make an appearance. And because I engaged in battles over my room as a teen with my own mightily meticulous mother, I decided to ignore the state-of-affairs in my daughter’s room. But some days I wondered if I was doing the right thing, especially since it seemed she had no intention of putting her clean laundry away. Ever. Again.

Instead, I rationalized. Both kids helped with garbage duty, dishwasher duty, dusting duty and a bit of vacuuming. So it wasn’t as though they weren’t contributing. And it wasn’t like my husband and I had set new lows in disorderliness. In fact, we maintained a pretty clean, reasonably organized home, if you don’t count the messy closets.

Still, was I doing my daughter a disservice by not forcing her to clean her room?

Recently, over spring break, she wanted to do things with friends that required some extra cash. Since she’s one of those too-busy-to-hold-down-a-real-job kids, I told her if she wanted financing from the Bank of Mom, she’d have to clean her room. (See? I have standards.)

So began a slow process where she put away clothes that were piled up like volcanic ash in Iceland, threw out no-longer-in-use school folders, organized ten years worth of dance costumes, and in the ultimate act of cleanliness, vacuumed her floor.

It’s been a couple of months, and the room has more or less slipped into its’ previous disarray. Sigh.

At least she puts her clean clothes away.

As I do in times of uncertainty, I consulted my friend the Internet for advice.

Lo and behold, I found this from an online May 2009 Slate Magazine article by Alan E. Kazdin, past president of the American Psychological Association, and Carlo Rotella, director of American studies at Boston College.

“Having a messy room is an identifiable stage that tends to appear in adolescence and then go away. After the messy interlude of the preteen and teen years, most people return to or rise to some basic standard of neatness—a standard very likely resembling the one you have modeled in your own housekeeping.”

Well, thank goodness for that!

How do you feel about teens and their messy rooms? Do you expect them to keep rooms neat? Or do you just close the door?

photo by lileavell/stock.xchng

Guest Post: Teenagers and Messy Rooms - Just a Phase?

By Laura Bell

During the 70s, I was involved with a very conservative church group.

Most of the mothers were loaded down with kids and chores that never quite got completed. During services, you could spot them coming in the meeting hall by the line of children carrying all the needed extras. The women usually looked so pale, one could anticipate them falling over in a dead heap if pushed gently.

The church published a monthly magazine. One month there was a lead article about “Martyred Myrtle.” Needless to say, it was a subject of many conversations. The one big positive about my ex husband is after a very short while he figured out if he didn’t help get the kids ready we wouldn’t get out of the house.

He was so good at it that when I was recuperating from having the twins, he had a teenager from the congregation help him so I could stay in bed one morning and rest while he was at church. About three weeks into this, a knock came on my door around 9:30. I was still wandering around in my robe and babies were in their room.

To my astonishment, I saw two women with their kids whom I had previously considered friends. I was informed that members of the congregation were talking about me because I allowed my husband to share in the care of the kids by taking them to church. What could I be thinking? I was flabbergasted then and now. I have no memory of how I responded to these short-sighted and narrow minded individuals.

This all boils down to one simple principle: our society expects women to be martyred Myrtles. The only way to keep one’s sanity in the long run is decide from day one this isn’t going to be your path in life.

Now, I can almost see many shaking their heads. How am I going to get everything done if I don’t do it myself? As you have more children, do not hesitate to teach them small tasks than can help with the household load.

My girls both learned how to change diapers before the age of seven. With twins and another toddler, it was necessary. Before that, we landed one or more teenagers that didn’t mind helping. They thought dealing with infants twins was cool at the time.

When my boys got to middle school, all three took cooking classes. All became good cooks. The youngest already has my grandson in the kitchen.

While I still worked full time, I instructed anyone old enough to be in the kitchen on how to do their part for dinner get-togethers and Thanksgiving. This wasn’t hard for my husband since he had taught me basics when we got married.

A side note on this. One good friend never solved this dilemma during her first marriage. Her husband did nothing but sit down and wait to be served when coming home from work. It didn’t matter that she also worked. I called many times around 9 p.m., and she was always doing one thing: cooking.

Now, I realize that it can almost be impossible to change habits. To understand what happens to housewives with no support, watch the now numerous shows whose titles begin with Desperate Housewives. Women who sacrifice a good part of their adult life on the altar of motherhood are one word: miserable.

Don’t accept the life of a “Martyred Myrtle.” Fight tooth and nail to make the necessary changes. It will save your sanity.

More About Laura Bell


Laura Bell has been a published writer for 31 years and previously wrote mainly about business until she was inspired to share her experiences about parenthood. Find more of Laura's work at The Bell Business Report and Mommyhood.

Guest Post: Don’t become a martyred Myrtle

Dealing with Toddler Regression

By Shari Downhill, Teen & Tween Expert

I have taken Soccer Mom to a completely new level…in a good way.

The first time someone asked me to “Call the team” to disseminate a message I said… “Whaaat? Isn’t that a little…archaic?”

Social media and virtual messaging are my mass communication avenues of choice. I’ll give you one word why… Efficiency.

As a non-apologetic matter of fact, I don’t like the telephone. I don’t like to receive calls. And I don’t like to make them. They’re so… Inefficient. I know that sounds snooty. But, unless I’m having (or willing to have…) a “heart to heart” with someone, I’d rather text…or IM…or email. Or better yet…blog multi-dimensionally.

I came across an amazing tool to do that, or to add another dimension onto an otherwise “flat” word-based blog site. Gabcast (www.gabcast.com) allows a user to record a message from the field (yes, using a phone) and leave a voice message or voice journal, creating an audible file for visitors to hear. Voila!

Here is an example:

Gabcast! Some things on my mind #1



I decided to incorporate this function into our high school girls soccer “Coach Notes” blog to allow the coaches from the Varsity and JV teams to communicate directly with their players without having to call each one. “Yes,” it takes a bit of effort to educate the intended audience, and “yes” there needs to be an incentive of some kind to convince them to use it, but, in the end, I anticipate the players will check in frequently – if only to see if their personal sports images are up on the blog site. Oh, did I mention “incentive?”

Gabcast - An Alternative Way to Reach Teen Athletes

By Denise Bertacchi, Stay at Home Mom Expert

I used to have a 4pm freak out every weekday. I’d run around spot cleaning the house so that my husband wouldn’t come home to a disaster zone. I didn’t quite prescribe to the whole 50’s wife “slippers and cocktail” welcome for my husband, but I’d try to at least tidy up the house and have dinner started. I was trying to be a decent, if not perfect, stay at home mom.

Something changed the last few years. Well, a couple somethings changed. I started writing, which means that I don’t just spend my day on an endless string of play dates, playground tours and MOMS Club field trips. And we’ve added another boy to the family—a whirling dervish of a toddler who makes messes faster than you can say “put that down!”

I’ve relaxed my own pretty lax standards the last few years. I consider dinner options about an hour before anybody needs to leave the house for evening activities. I tend to pickup clutter only when it’s in my way or if company is coming over. Sometimes we eat more frozen nuggets, burgers and things out of a box than is strictly healthy.

I was starting to feel bad about how my second time around the toddler block was getting sloppier and more out of control.

Then one day my husband came home from work and took a moment to admire the enormous train layout with our younger son playing train happily inside. This crazy train extravaganza had been set up by big brother—a boy who proclaims to be way too old to play trains—and consisted of every single piece of track, tunnel and bridge in the house. I cringed as my husband looked at it, thinking of how the track had been in the middle of the floor for days now and needed to be dismantled so I could vacuum up the grit collecting inside it.

The following conversation between my husband and I went something like this:

“You know, my mom would have never allowed us to build a train the living room.”

“Really?”

“No, that would have driven her nuts.”

“So, it’s not bothering you?”

“Hell no, leave it up. What’s for dinner?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ok, no rush. You can just order a pizza.”

And that’s when I realized that the clutter of toys in the living room wasn’t so much a sign of a messy housekeeper, but of a family that was too busying having fun to clean up.

When a Messy House Means Fun

By Stacey Celaya - Family Health Expert

While here in the South Eastern part of Washington our weather can't quite make up its mind, summer is (hopefully) on its way. I don't know about everyone else, but I cannot wait for it to get here. I love the sun and the water and the tan that comes along with it.

When I was a teenager my sister and I spent hours and hours diligently perfecting out very brown California girl tan. We baked in the sun using nothing but baby oil and a very strict "flip" schedule.

Nowadays I see my teenage daughter heading outside in her bathing suit with a bottle of tanning oil and I have a mild heart attack. Part of the panic comes from the nurse in me worried about skin cancer and all the damage that the sun can do if one is over exposed. The other part...well embarrassingly enough it comes from the very vain female living inside my nurse exterior. I have no doubt that the sun spots that I now have to fight to keep hidden by smearing 50 SPF on my face are a result of too much sunscreen free tanning in my younger years -- not to mention the very fine wrinkles I am now starting to see.

But I remember being a kid and loving the sun and all that goes with it. So how do we keep our kids protected from the sun all the while letting them have all the summer fun that they want?

Use sunscreen diligently
Apply SPF 15 sunblock about 30 minutes before your kids go out in the sun.
Apply generously and reapply every 2 to 3 hours.
Don't forget ears, necks, faces and use waterproof if they are going to be in the water.
Sunscreen should NOT be used on babies younger than 6 months of age, keep those little ones out of the sun and covered up as much as possible.

Stay out of the sun when the sun is at its highest and hottest
The hottest time is between 10 am and 4 pm.
If your kids are going to be out during that time them make sure they are wearing sunscreen! encourage your little ones to play in a shaded area.

Protect your eyes!
Even your eyes can get sun burnt and it can take as little as 1 hour in strong sun to damage your eyes.
Teach your kids to never look directly at the sun.

Check Medications
Some medications require staying out of the sun, check with your doctor if you are unsure.

Cover up
Covering up is the most effective ways to protect skin from UV rays.
This includes the head - wear hats with a brim that covers the face.

Practice what you preach!
Remember kids are copy cats they will do what they see you doing...so set a good example.

And as always, remember to keep everyone well hydrated when spending time in the sun. It is way too easy to become dehydrated and fall prey to heat sickness - so drink up!!
　
　

You Are My Sunshine....

By Michael Horvath, Stepparenting

So you say that the family has been "blended" for some time now and things still don't feel right. There are always things needing to be ironed out. The kid(s) are off isolating in their bedrooms hardly speaking to their new stepparent much less anyone else. There seems to be chaos everywhere and there is always something coming up. It feels like a nut house!

There was a time where so much was going on with Tyler that Djuanna was feeling overwhelmed. Ty had the lead in the school play and had other activities that always seemed to require a ride somewhere. Some of her grades were slipping and Ty was getting a little "mouthy" at times. Djuanna was forced to do some increased disciplining and wasn't feeling too good about it all. She couldn't see that anything was working. In fact, in her eyes nothing was going right. She was "having a moment" but her moment was dragging on longer than, well, a moment.

Well ask yourself this question when things seem to be going crazy with your kids, or the stepkids... what household with children IS calm and relaxed, with everything going smooth as silk? Um, could that answer be...none? Don't kids like to get away from their parents? Didn't you just hate your siblings growing up, avoiding them at times? Aren't most teens a little smartmouthed? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Looking in from the outside I could see things Djuanna could not. She had been raising this child on her own 10 months out of a year for 10 years when I came along. A couple years later Tyler was completing middle school and entering her teen years. I don't know about you but my mom and sister really had some shouting matches when my sister was a teen, complete with the "slamming the door as hard you can competition". What I saw was pretty natural out of Djuanna and Tyler. The only problem was that Ty was just fine while Djuanna was all bent about it.

As the mom, Djuanna was frustrated, angry and feeling that if she had done a good job parenting all this disciplining wouldn't be necessary. Being able to view it from my point of view, I suggested the errors in her thinking. I don't know if I did much good but I was trying to be supportive. I pointed out how Tyler was still dancing around the house. She was still singing in the shower and more. All this despite losing her computer privileges, TV privileges, cell phone, and being "grounded".

If there is one thing about being the stepparent or even pseudo-parent, it seems a little easier to see things more clearly when it's not your kid. Even when it comes to my niece Jessie, it can be difficult. Thank God for Djuanna. In this case she is the one who sees things more 'as they are' rather than how it "feels" to me. Djuanna can deal with Jessie's crazy college stuff better than I can.

So if boys will be boys, then girls will be girls and teens will be teens. Expect some level of craziness in the house and it won't seem so bad. If you're the stepparent, be supportive without criticizing. And when things get hectic remember to keep things in perspective.

The Nut House

By Kat Foust, Single Parenting Expert

If there is one thing I will constantly harp on, it's going back to school. Not only is this the most reasonable solution to surviving the current economy, but it also offers single parents some light at the end of the tunnel. I hate to hear someone talk about how badly they are struggling, yet for some reason they refuse to go to school. Sure there is work involved, but going to school versus not going to school is kind of like paying high rental fees when you could be buying.

In the next few weeks, I'll be outlining the details of how to go back to school as a single parent. I'll present as much detail as i have available so that single parents can have a step by step guideline to getting into school and having a future they can look forward to. I'll share my experience and present options so that you can see what you're looking at dealing with. By the time it's all said and done, you should be prepared to start school in the fall or even sooner, depending on where you plan to attend.

You might think that the first step in going back to school is to decide what exactly you want to go to school for. It may shock you to learn this, but it really doesn't matter what you plan to take at this point. You have every option to change your mind anyhow and every degree requires some general education credits. Those credits are often the prerequisites for higher course, giving you some time to fine tune your choices.

The first step is in the financial aid process. Go to the FAFSA site and begin filling out your FAFSA. This is a very simple process. All you need is your taxes from the previous year or at least knowledge of your gross income. When it comes time to enter the school code, select a few schools that you may be interested in attending. You can enter a different school code later if need be. The important thing is to simply get this form filled out. The benefit of this form is that it is the one form that every school and financial aid agency uses to determine your financial aid. In the end, what this means for you is that you can actually get paid to go back to school. That's right, you can get a check to help you out with your bills while you go to school! How would you like to be able to pay your bills up for the next six months and spend your time focusing on school work instead of stressing about the rent? That's what I'm talking about!

Single Parents and School

By Debbie Pecis

It started out as a totally normal Monday; if, like me, normal means spending the morning at the grocery store, letting the kids lunch from the pastry container and deli, turning hot water for tea into cold water because the grocery store doesn't have a decent drinking fountain, checking out the goldfish and lobster, and navigating an industrial sized cart into several checkout lanes so my daughter could check out the various toy offerings that I promised she could buy with her own money.

Little did I know I was really in England.  At a friend's funeral.  And needing a loan.

Yes, yesterday, this stay-at-home mom of two was a victim of identity theft.  Just when I had gotten an offer extended to be one of the new bloggers to this site (Hi there, everyone!) some hack sent a bogus email to all my contacts.  Somewhere in cyberspace swirled the following crazy email:

How's your day going? I hope everything is alright. Please I need you to help me out with something. Can I get a loan from you urgently? I`ll reimburse you under a week, I promise. I need to solve some personal problems at hand which have been giving me worries. I`d also prefer if we discuss this through email as I`m presently in England for a friend's funeral. I`m sorry if I didn`t inform you about it, but please try and understand. I`ll let you know how much I need if you are willing to assist me.

Thanks,

Debbie.

And if that wasn't enough, he/she wiped out all my emails and contacts.  Thanks, buddy.

The funny thing is, as mom, sometimes you don't need a crazy hacker to feel like a victim of identity theft.  The simple act of becoming a parent alters one's identity.   There is often nothing you can do anymore without considering--or just being interrupted--by others:  taking a shower, going to the bathroom, cooking a meal, getting into the car, or going shopping.

Taking a trip to the library with children requires strategic planning; taking a trip to the library by one's self requires even more planning.  Right after having our first child, I recall using the term "when I was single" to mean "before I had children," not realizing that this was technically incorrect.

In writing for this blog, I get to expand my identity just a bit, to consider myself not just a mother and wife, but a writer of sorts.  I love my children and getting the chance to stay home with them, but some days it can feel like somebody's hacked into my life, making me look like a nut.

Which I'm not.

I swear.

Nor am I in England.  But if you want to drop me some dough, I might not argue.

Greetings from England...Maybe

• Sadness, irritability, and anger


• Restlessness, guilt, worthlessness


• Fear of causing harm to yourself or child


• Overly concerned about the baby and even not concerned enough


• Physical disturbances such as headaches, irregular heart beat, chest pains, and shallow breathing


• Lack of energy and difficulty focusing


• Changes in eating habits


• Difficulty sleeping


• Loss of interest in activities

While many of these things occur after having a baby, such as lack of energy and difficulty sleeping, if you experience multiple warning signs and the weeping occurs longer than 6 weeks after birth, it's best to speak with your doctor immediately.

The Baby Blues: When Crying Becomes Too Much Crying

• Research the camps you would like to work at  & Don’t limit your list to camps you’ve attended in the past.
• Request an application and note the deadline for submission.
• If you are called for an interview, be yourself.
• Be clear about the goals you have for yourself as a camp counselor and share them.
• Be honest about the things that are not your strong points and be willing to ask for help and support.

• Do: Assist with a teen’s initial pros and cons thought process.
• Do: Encourage teen to be authentic and confident.
• Do: Assist with initial research for potential camps.
• Don’t: Be pushy with either your teen or the camp they've decided to apply to.
• Don’t: Be overly involved in filling out paperwork and making follow up calls for your teen.

Summer Dreams: Becoming a Camp Counselor

By Denise Bertacchi, Stay at Home Moms Expert

Is your family planning a summer staycation this year? Staycations—affordable vacations in your home town—have been made popular by the lengthy recession as a way to have family fun without breaking the bank.

How do you plan a fun but cheap vacation without leaving the state? It’s actually pretty easy: you just need to look at your home town as if you were entertaining guests for a week. If you live in a small town, include whatever exciting destinations are within driving distance for a day trip.

How to find Staycation ideas: 

• What is the absolute “must see” activity you would take a visiting niece or nephew to see? 
• If your online pal said they were stopping over in your city and had a couple hours to kill, where would you send them for lunch? 
• What park would you take friends to for a memorable picnic? 
• Where’s the very best theater to see a summer blockbuster? (Are you getting the idea now?) 

For added fun, map out your Staycation itinerary with an easy art project for the kids--make a passport! Click the next link to find easy directions to make a custom staycation passport. Each page of the passport represents a destination for your family to visit during the summer. Fill the passport with photos of your travels and decorate with travel themed stickers. When summer is over you'll also have a great "souvenir" of your trip!

When planning your vacation remember to consider places from the perspective of your children. It’s really easy to get bored with traditional activities in town if you’ve lived there for a long time. When was the last time you went to (fill in your local tourist trap here)? How old was your child when you visited? An older kid might not remember something they saw as a toddler, or might be able to do activities that were once off limits when they were smaller.

I live in St. Louis. It’s been said that most adults here have not been up in the Gateway Arch since they were kids! Why? Because it’s something only out-of-towners and fieldtrips do! 

Summer Dreams: Create a Passport to the Ultimate Staycation

By Stacey Celaya

iTunes App Review - Snow Globe Maker Spring

By Stacey Celaya - Family Health Expert

Summer Dreams: One Time At Band Camp....

By Michael Horvath, Stepparenting

Summer Dreams: Simple Fun