The WM Parenting Connection

We all have those days when we think, “What have I gotten myself into?” But honestly, I have never felt that way when it came to being “Pseudo/StepDad to Tyler. Oh I can hear you now, “What! Why do I read this guy’s stuff, he’s full of it. Does he really expect me to believe…?” The truth is that I have grown quite a bit through the process of stepparenting.

Now I’m a realist, neither a pessimist nor an optimist. My recovery from active addiction these past 19 years has molded me into learning acceptance and dealing with things “One day at a time”. It has served me well. Any moment of challenge can become an opportunity for teaching and learning. You just have to keep that in mind and keep your cool. It also doesn’t hurt to look at the positives that come along with becoming a stepparent. Here are some of mine:

I have learned to love “better”. I didn’t get that parental feeling of love for Tyler that her parents did that moment in the delivery room when she was born. Mine was a different process and throughout that process my love came unselfishly. I grew internally and my love for her came naturally.

I have always been a “go-getter”. Tell me I can’t do something and look out! I am very determined. For me to make my relationship with Ty successful, I had to go after it. It took some thought and work. This bled into other aspects of my life as I learned how to do this “stepparenting” thing.

There is a certain amount of responsibility I DON'T have in my role. There are certain responsibilities that only a biological parent can address. I may have a voice but the real decision making doesn’t fall on me.

Life has become more enjoyable. I laugh more easily. My “inner child” is able to come out more often. (Djuanna may say it;’s not as “inner” as I think!) Yes, I have written about how important it is to give time to a child, but you can certainly have a lot of fun doing it! Playing Wii sports, going to the driving range, watching silly movies and just being more playful in life are some things she has brought to my life.

I’m sure there are more I have missed but those are some samples of the positives I have gotten from stepparenting. It has been as influential on me as I have been on Tyler. And that’s some wonderful growth on both of our parts.