The WM Parenting Connection

8 comments:

Corinne Rodrigues said...

What's so selfish about having another child, I wonder? It's not as if you're 'bumming off' the system. People are very free with their opinions aren't they? Look at me! :))

October 8, 2010 8:39 AM

Caitriona said...

It's not something I ever really thought about but it's given me food for thought. What about those brave people such as Christy Browne or Stephen Hawkings? If their parents were told at the beginning the severity of their special needs, would it have made a difference?? Like you mentioned already, life is a journey, and the path each person takes is unique. You should read Robert Frost's poem "The Road not Taken" It's one I love because to me it's about the endless possibilities life's journey can hold. Choose your path and if this is where it wants to take you - go!! and never mind the pessimists!!

October 8, 2010 11:46 AM

fortysomethingfirsttimemum said...

Your opinion is welcome Corinne! I don't mind people having an opinion on it but some are so dogmatic about it! I think each to their own and live and let live.

Life is indeed a journey Caitriona and all paths cannot go the same way.

October 8, 2010 12:05 PM

Margo Dill said...

I wonder if the person who told you you were selfish is a person who was easily able to have children, married early, or got done easily with childrearing before 35. These type of people have NO IDEA what it is like to try and try to get pregnant or find the love of your life or suffer miscarriages.

For some of us, life just happens the way it does--I chose not to get married to someone I was engaged to before I was 30 because it was a bad relationship. I think that was smart. Therefore, I didn't meet my husband until I was 33 and didn't marry until I was 35. We tried to have kids, had to go through fertility, and lucked into pregnancy somehow now that I am 39. If God gives us another when I'm over 40, we will take that as a blessing, too. Surely, God isn't selfish by giving women babies at 44. He is putting new souls with people who can care for them. And not to mention, I know A LOT of people in their 70s and 80s who are healthy--playing golf, vacationing, etc. Oh, as you can tell, statements like someone made to you just really GET MY GOAT!

Margo
http://margodill.com/blog/

October 9, 2010 8:57 AM

lindamcdermott2 said...

i don't think it's either wrong or selfish to have children in your 40's.i know people have very differant opinions on this but its whats inside a person that matters.like you said claire if you feel well and fit,then why not.no one goes into this without going through every avenue first,more so the older you get.i find myself at the other end of the scale.i was 18 when i had my first child and 36 when i had my 5th.i'm sure many people would have an opinion on this as well ha.my brother and his wife had been married many years and never showed any interest in starting a family,like a lot of woman when his wife was in her late thirties she fell pregnant(through choice).had her little girl when she was 40 and my brother was 47.never did i think i'd see my brother with a child of his own and im amazed at how well he took to being a daddy.i smile when i see him with this lovely three year old because even if he dosn't know it i can see the pride and sheer love for his daughter written all over his face.and i know like any parent knows that he now realises what it's like to give and receive unconditional love that only a child can bring..my sister in law has said she wished she'd had a child sooner and she would have another one if she could....watch this space ha

October 10, 2010 10:40 AM

Abby Wynne said...

Hi Claire,
I believe that you can boil down everything we do in life to being selfish - because somewhere, somehow, there is something in it for us. To use an extreme example, we give money to charity because we feel better about ourselves doing it. As far as having a child goes, we become self-less in our selfishness, the child takes precedence. Everything we do, we do for our child, whether it is appreciated or not. And as you already have one child, you know this is the case.
We can want and dream, Spirit will provide what we need. If it is not meant to be, then you will be the best mum you can be to the little boy you have now. And if it is, and a new baby is on the cards, then it is, and selfishness does not come into the equation. I hope this helps!
Warm wishes,
Abby

October 11, 2010 4:17 AM

veronahanlon said...

I would have thought choosing to have a child is perhaps THE most selfless decision you could ever make! When you become a parent, your responsibilities, commitments and priorities change - you and your partner are no longer centres of your own world. So i commend you for being the (obiously) caring and concientious person that you are, never mind the begrudgers!

October 11, 2010 2:20 PM

fortysomethingfirsttimemum said...

Thanks for all the comments!

October 29, 2010 9:50 AM