Wednesday, April 7, 2010

postheadericon Starting Anew


I have been a single dad of twins for many years now. My previous marriage ended quite
abruptly, and quite badly. Now a change in my life has occurred, and yes, it is for the best, even
with the sacrifices made. I will give you a bit of history regarding my previous marriage, but I will also give you the happiest ending of them all. Hopefully in this article I will also be able to help you with decisions you are trying to make in your life.

My previous marriage was to a woman with whom I really did think it would be forever with. When we got together as a couple I was young, and as I look back very immature. There were good times, and of course the typical bad times. We had a beautiful son and daughter, whom I love with all my heart and soul. The marriage hit a road bump fairly quickly when I found out that she was keeping company with other men. I forgave her however, and we both decided we could make it work. This lasted all of about three months, and of course it was because I found she had no intention of being a "one man woman".

My children came to live with me from an early age, and I raised them by myself. I always swore that I would devote all my energy, and time into raising them. I did so for many years, and felt that dating or having a relationship of an adult nature was out of the question. I focused on my children, and only on my children. This of course all came to an end one day when I met my current and forever love. I was good about dating away from home, so as not to hurt the children. After a year I decided I would like to move in with this young lady, and made the appropriate steps to do so. I slowly introduced my children to her, being cautious not to try to force her on them.

So when this seemed to have gone well, we decided to make the move. Of course this is when things hit the fan so to speak. Neither of my children wanted me to move in with her, and on top of that made suggestions to break up with her. While I respected my children's feelings, I could not do this. I felt the time for me to move on with my my adult life had come. Coincidentally my children have decided to move out of my home, and into my ex-wife's house. This has been a heartbreaking time for me, and has made me want cry on more than one occasion.

I titled this Stating Anew however, and here is the wonderful and uplifting part of the article. My new love is currently pregnant with a baby, and this has filled a void that has needed to be filled in my heart. I will love this baby as much as I love my twins, and my life has taken on a happiness to stop the tears. I have written this article to give hope to anyone who reads it, and hopefully show that it is alright to open your heart to love, even when the cost seems so high. I know my children love me, and will come back to me even if not in the same way.

Remember that while you are a parent, you are also a person who requires and needs to have love and life in your heart. May all your dreams come true, as mine have.
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5 comments:

Michael Horvath said...

Sounds like your ex cheated herself out of a wonderful family life with a great guy. Your kids will see things clearly once they get older and wiser. We all need to be loved.

Dawnie said...

I completely agree with Michael. Kids learn the truth quickly. They know in their hearts you love them and over time, they will realize the sacrafices you made for them. Congrats on the new baby!

Daniel Lee said...

Thank you so much both of you. Someday my children will know, and come back. In the meantime I will enjoy this new life given to me.

Stacey Celaya said...

Daniel I have lived what you are going through. Marrying my now husband and creating a life with him and my children has been a slow and bumpy process. My oldest also left my home to go live with my ex as a result. I know how hard it is and how much you hurt over it. Michael and Dawnie are right - your children will eventually understand and in the meantime - you are right - we can give all we have to our children but eventually we have to understand that we are people too. I am so happy that you found a new love and now will have a new baby...congratulations!

Laurie said...

Daniel, What a heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing it. God has blessed you "twice" once again! First, with twins, and now your new love and the gift of a child from that love. As the others have said, your children will understand someday, on their own time frame. You've sacrificed for them, and given them love and support through all the good and bad times. Your title is correct. "A New" Start, enjoy that love you so deserve!

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