The WM Parenting Connection

Please help the WM Parenting Connection welcome our newest blogger Daniel Lee. Daniel will be joining the WM Freelance Connection every Wednesday to discuss the life of Single Parenting and everything in between. Here's a little more about Daniel:

Daniel Lee: Single Parenting

What is it like to be a single dad? Well, I will write to folks letting you know just that. I will advise you of the ups and of course the downs. Being a dad is a challenge even when you are married to mom, let alone single. Just remember being a dad is a full time job, and not the easiest of things to undertake when single.

I am not a professional writer, or to be quite honest, not really sure at times one to give advice. I am the dad of two teen children, one boy and one girl -“talk about a challenge”. I own a construction business which used to afford me a stable financial life for my children, but like everyone, have felt the squeeze of this economy on my ability to give my children everything I would like to. Teens however, like other ages of children, have no idea that money does not grow on that proverbial tree in the back yard.

My son is currently into that emo style most children are into these days. He is reclusive and he is into the "ehh who cares stage." This has made it difficult to connect with him at times, and I find sometimes that if I don’t work extremely hard to bond with him we seem to separate. I have found that keeping an open line of communication with him has made things easier. He is currently dating, and of course you know that poses its own challenges. He is in love, and at fourteen that can be good, as well as bad. I feel talking to him about his relationship in a nonjudgmental way keeps him being open and honest about the subject. As a single dad I worry sometimes my son may not respect, or love me as he used to when I was with mom. I know this isn’t true in my heart, so as long as I keep talking I know he will too.

My daughter is also a teen, and like her brother has done the dating thing. I don’t think I have to tell any dad what it is like to have a little girl who starts dating. The emotion of this for a dad is difficult to say the lease. She is turning into a woman before my eyes, yet I still see her as that little baby I held after birth. As a single dad, I even had to teach her about her monthly friend. This can be a hard conversation to have with your little girl, but just remember to be open and let her know this is normal, and every girl goes through it. So how does a single dad do the right thing by a girl when it comes to giving her the right advice? Here it is, just like with your boys, men just remember to always keep an open line of conversation. Don’t be judgmental, and listen to them about what they want to talk about. Remember the biggest thing, and this is so important with girls; you are the parent and they not only want you to be there for them but need you to be. I have found with my daughter that there is no advice or talk that is any more, or less difficult for dad to have with them than it would be for mom.

I guess in this case my strongest advice for the single dad; keep an open line of conversation going with your children no matter what age. Remember that children need guidance, and your job is to provide it to them no matter how young or old they may be.