The WM Parenting Connection

By Michael Horvath, Step-Parenting

Time is the most valuable gift we can give anyone, especially a child.

Growing up my dad did three things. Sleep, eat and work. At least that is how I saw it. I wanted him to be there to throw the ball around with me or go shoot baskets. Some of my other friend's dads did. And although I missed out I know that my father gave his life for his family. He had to work as much as he did at a very poorly paying job just to try to feed, clothe and shelter us. He barely had time for himself. My mother on the other hand was "The Great Taxi Driver". She gave us all the time she could. Of course that meant she had little time for herself. My parents did the best they could and today I can see the sacrifices they made for me and my siblings.

There are some parents who have the time but don't provide what I believe they can to their children. That is why I feel it is so important to give that of myself. It's really not hard. And I have personally seen Djuanna, as a single parent, do it all. She is always there for her daughter. I have tried to take some of that responsibility as "Pseudo-Dad" myself. After all, Djuanna did the majority of work raising this girl alone from the time Ty was 2 years old. I am taking it as an opportunity since my life has played out in a way that I won't have children of my own. That and the simple fact that I love Tyler like she was my own.

When it comes to Tyler and I, I generally take her when her mom has other things going. Or to get out of her mom's hair. (Well, that's what WE tell Djuanna, oops, shhh!) We have gone to the driving range when Djuanna's friends set her up with a massage for her birthday. I saw the movie "Mama Mia" with Tyler and had a great time. (Um, I can't stand musicals and it really wasn't my choice. My enjoyment came from looking over at Tyler who was all wide-eyed, mouthing the words to songs, laughing and loving it) We spent hours practicing songs for her lead role as Dorothy in "The Wiz" in my home studio. We had a blast. Sometimes just going to the grocery store and then cooking dinner together, or going out to grab some wings. I have even been caught doing aerobics with her in the living room. These are some examples and Tyler and I share even more experiences together. I am willing to go to any lengths to be there for her and with her. To give myself and my time to her. I don't care how tired I might be or how long my day went. I don't want to look back and say "I wish I would have..."

The three of us do plenty together too. Movies, dinner, trips to the library, shopping at the mall, you name it. Early on, dating Djuanna meant Tyler was escorting, although we did have "date nights" for the two of us. Djuanna and I that is! And y'know, sometimes it just doesn't feel right when Tyler isn't with us. Soon enough though she won't be interested in spending that time with us with her 15th birthday looming. So I plan to use whatever time is available as she gets older to spend time with her and enjoy that time. I get alot out of her giving her time to me as well.

As a Step-Parent it is vital to be involved in a child's life. We need to get ready to step right into the batter's box immediately. We only have so many minutes alloted in each of our lives and time can go by so swiftly. That is why it is the most precious of gifts we can give to anyone, especially a child.