The WM Parenting Connection

by Jennifer Fulks

This topic has a lot of meaning for me in several ways. In addition to being a mother, I am also a licensed esthetician, or skin care therapist. I believe it is important to foster healthy self esteem in all children but it is especially important when it comes to girls. There seems to always have been a double standard for boys and girls in relation to how they appear physically; however it does seem as though that double standard is becoming narrower as “pretty boys” are becoming more mainstream. With three teenagers, two girls and a boy, I have a pretty good understanding of the havoc that can be wrecked upon their self esteem when they feel less than perfect.

Once again I turn to my daughter Ashley for a real life example. In case you have not figured it out yet, Ashley is a red head and as stubborn as can be! When Ashley was in Fourth Grade she decided to shave her eyebrows off! I was mortified and heartbroken. I cried when I realized what she had done. When I looked at my beautiful little girl it tore at my heart to realize just how embarrassed she had been of her eyebrows. I felt terrible and we sat down together to talk about what was going on.

Ashley has always been very hairy from the time she was born. She has always had light fuzz covering her entire body. As she got older she developed some pretty good eyebrows, but nothing I personally felt was excessive. I asked her why she had shaved them off and she simply said because they were ugly. Now while it is tempting to explain to a nine year old that she should embrace what makes her different and love herself for who she is, the “beauty queen” in me decided they are only eyebrows after all. Since the time my children could look through a book in the salon and point I have allowed them to choose their own hairstyle so why not with the brows.

Once Ashley’s eyebrows grew back in (and thankfully they did!) I took her to the salon and had them professionally waxed. At that time I was not licensed or I would have done them myself as I do today. She loved the way her eyebrows looked and I loved the boost it gave her. I don’t think it’s shallow to want to improve one’s personal appearance, on the contrary if done right fixing one’s self up can have a major impact on how one feels about one’s self.
As a young adult and mother I would often get stuck in a rut when it came to rolling out of bed and taking care of the children without giving any thought to self care. As a result I often felt crummy and would question myself as to why my husband was still around, in a nutshell, I looked like crap! My mother would swoop in on me and haul me up and make me shower, do my hair and put on some makeup claiming it would make me feel better. Well, my mother was right! When I practiced good self care, it would be reflected with a good self esteem. When you feel good about how you look, it’s easy to feel good about how you feel.

My advice for parents and teenagers alike is this:

• Throw away the beauty magazines; they are full of false garbage!
• Most eyes are actually enlarged through Photoshop. 
• Studies show that the wide-eyed innocent look is most aesthetically pleasing, thereby enticing more buyers.
• Most eyelashes are false, even in mascara ads.
• Most skin and hair is airbrushed for a perfectly polished look, something that is unachievable in real life.
• Makeup can be applied with perfect precision and color thanks again to Photoshop.
• Eye and hair color can also be tweaked to perfection.
• Some tricks you may not realize about magazine photos are:

I cannot put enough emphasis on these tips:

• The longer a full face of makeup is put off, the longer skin will stay soft and fresh.
• Great skin begins with a great skin care routine and the less complicated the better. The face should be washed at night, especially if makeup is worn, with an appropriate cleanser. The type of cleanser used will depend on several factors. It really is worth the money for a consultation with an esthetician who can recommend the right products, and don’t be afraid to ask which products you can find at Wal-Mart that will work. Almost every one of us understands that times are tight and if he or she is really good then he or she will know what non-professional products are out there. I will tell you however that the hands down best acne treatment out there is still good old Sea Breeze!
• Do NOT over-cleanse! Too much of a good thing is a bad thing! More acne can actually be caused by over doing it. At bedtime do a full cleanse, upon rising if the face is oily, splash with lukewarm water, not hot and not cold, then pat dry, that’s it, that’s all that is needed for a cleansing routine.
• Everyone needs a moisturizer even if they have oily skin, again find the right product per skin type.
• Acne has many more causes than just clogged pores. Anything more than an occasional blackhead or whitehead should be looked at by a professional. Acne is often an outward sign of an internal issue.

Teens and Beauty Treatments