The WM Parenting Connection

By Angela Atkinson

My son Cameron is 12 years old, and he’s getting to that age when most kids start demanding their independence. Cameron is no exception, of course, and we’re limping along through these important formative years as well as can be expected.

It’s tough, being a parent and watching your kids grow up and get closer and closer to being adults every day—but at the same time, understanding (even when they don’t) that they’re still kids and need our protection. 

At some point, most parents begin to wonder when it’s safe to leave their kids home alone. While a few states have legal age limits anywhere between the ages of 8 and 12, many states don’t, leaving a lot of parents to make the decision on their own.

So when should you allow your child to stay home alone for the first time? And for how long? What factors should you consider?

First, remember that there is no "magical" age at which every child is ready to stay home alone. Depending on the child's maturity level and ability to care for himself, some parents may be comfortable leaving a child as young as 8 for up to an hour, while others may not feel comfortable leaving a 12 year old alone. Each child is different and parents should base their decisions partially on the individual child's maturity level.

"Siblings add a wrinkle," says reporter Colleen Lamay.  "Leaving children who are close in age and generally get along together is a good idea. Leaving a 9-year-old with a 1-year-old isn't."

Next, find out if your child is personally comfortable with the idea of being left alone. Some kids may not feel safe alone for a variety of reasons.

"Does your child want to be left home alone? Some children are afraid, even if they are legally and otherwise ready to stay home alone. Do not force your child into this until he is sure that he is ready," advises Parenting Magazine.

Make sure your home is safe and that your child knows (and will follow) the rules and schedules you set up in advance. Plus, thoroughly explain and regularly review emergency procedures, including who she can call in the case of an emergency. Ideally, a neighbor or close relative would be available during the times your child will be alone--and parents should be just a phone call away.

When you finally determine that your child is ready to be left alone, start small. Go for a walk on your street or take a short trip to the grocery store--no more than half an hour. If this goes well, slowly build up to an hour, and then two, and so on. Be sure to have very strict rules in place regarding inviting people into the home (friends and strangers alike) and answering the door.

What do you think about leaving kids home alone?