The WM Parenting Connection: Homework Madness

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Homework Madness

2:07 PM | Posted by Christal

By Christal Cooper

I am about to go insane, but I know this is normal. I’m sure all Moms have struggles with their sons and daughters to do their homework. For my eight-year-old son this is not just a battle between us but World War III. Whenever it is time for homework he’s easily distracted. He tells me, “I’m having a heart attack. I’m bored.” Sometimes he tells me, “No! I’m not doing my homework!" That's when he is sent upstairs to his room and not allowed out of his room until he completes his homework.

Out of a sense of desperation and a sense of what is best for our son, my husband and I have come up with quite a few tricks. And the trick about these tricks is that you can’t force your child to do homework to the best of his ability. It’s difficult to force a child to think a particular thought or for his brain to do a particular action.

Nicholas is in the second grade, loves school, loves his teacher, but when it’s with Mommy at home, that’s where his love for school seems to stop.

Here are my 12 steps on how to “trick” your child into doing his or her homework:

STEP 1

Nicholas has to do his homework first thing. I do give him a snack and juice when he gets home. But no television, no radio, no playing, no nothing until his homework is complete for that day. For every page of homework he completes (both sides) he gets 50 cents, so its 25 cents per side. And we give him the money as he goes along. This will encourage your child to do his homework and he’ll think of it as a rewarding experience both financially and the fact that he is learning.

STEP 2

I have a special chair near my door called the “Green Reading Chair”. It’s so comfortable and cuddly. This is where we do all of our reading. Nicholas and I will cuddle (he’ll have his blanket with him) and we’ll read a book together. He has a reading book from school he has to read from as well as other books. Normally, I’ll read a paragraph and then he’ll read a paragraph until we finish the page. Then I’ll ask him questions (with the book against my chest so he can’t cheat) to make sure he’s paying attention. If he doesn’t answer a question correctly, I find it in the reading material and make him read the answer again.

STEP 3

He has five word problems due. One for every day of the week. If he’s on a roll and does Monday’s word problem, I try to encourage him to go along – until he finishes the entire weeks worth of problems which is normally $1.00. We give him 25 cents per problem but he has to not only answer the problem correctly, but also show how he came to that answer – which is normally showing the mathematical equation needed to answer that specific problem.

STEP 4

He has to have good penmanship. My precious 8-year-old is very hyper, sensitive, and gets in too much of a hurry. I have three samples of his handwriting, taped to the white board. The first is a paragraph he wrote in school that is “sloppy”. The next one is “a little bit better” and then the third is “perfect penmanship”. If something is sloppy or if he’s writing in too much of a hurry I have him erase it, look at the writing samples, and then rewrite it.

STEP 5

Nicholas also has books on the computer he has to read. At the end of each book the computer asks him a variety of questions. Nicholas has to get every single question correct (which is normally a yes or a no). If not, he has to reread the same book over again until he gets the questions correct.

STEP 6

I try to do his flash cards on addition and subtraction every single day. I also will intermix the cards and present him the cards that way.

STEP 7

He has spelling words each Monday that he must copy in his Agenda Book. I give him a spelling test every single day, except Friday of course, which is the day of the test. I’m so proud to say that his average is actually 100. He does so well in that.

STEP 8

Before Nicholas started preschool, I had him tested to see what his limitations, if any, were. I suspected he’d have limitations becauseof my history. I was diagnosed with a disability, which my mom said was dyslexia. I had to have speech therapy, tutors, failed first grade, was only able to get a “vocational school high school diploma” and not the “real” deal. In high school, I made many Cs, Ds, and an F. I also got a couple of As and a couple of Bs. To say the least, school was absolutely miserable to me. I hated it. I didn’t feel accepted. I didn’t feel understood. And when it came to my son, I’d be damned if I’d let him endure the same things. So I had him tested. When I had Nicholas tested, he needed speech therapy, was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder, and sensory integration. Sensory Integration is the same as Sensory Perception Disorder. It is where the five senses are not fully developed in the brain. To combat this problem, he has special earphones and CDs he has to listen to 30 minutes per day that target different areas of his brain. He also sees a sensory integration/physical therapist once a week in St. Louis.

STEP 9

Sometimes Nicholas gets overwhelmed so I let him take a break. Normally this involves having another snack, like fruit snacks, or a cookie. Perhaps we can play a quick game of Chinese checkers or what have you. But under no circumstances turn on the television. Television and radios stay OFF until homework is done. Even if the television is on a station he doesn’t care for, it can still interfere with his concentration.

STEP 10

A lot of people would disagree with me about paying Nicholas money to do his homework – but he has to do the homework properly and that is all the money he gets. And in the process we are teaching him how to handle his money. For every $1.00 he earns he has to save one dime and then give one dime away to charity or to a church, and he can spend the rest. But we only allow him to spend the rest if he’s good. We have a special bank for him that has three separate slots for this. He learns about money but also learns about compassion when we give him choices of where the money goes. Normally, he’ll drop it in the offering plate at church. Other times, normally around Christmas, he’ll give it to the Salvation Army.

STEP 11

I have to let Nicholas talk and sometimes that takes some time. He gets so excited that all of these words pop into his brain at about the same rate they pop into his mouth. So sometimes his words can be all clogged up. I’m still learning that letting him talk will allow me to understand my son more, make him feel better about himself, and know he’s practicing and perfecting his speech.

STEP 12

The last step is so important and we must do this step continuously. Praise our children. I try to praise Nicholas for who he is and thank him for what a wonderful job he does. I’m so thrilled when I see that he made two A’s and one B. I’m just as thrilled when I see he made three B’s and I’m just as thrilled when I see he made one A, one B, and one C. I just want my little boy to know that as long as he tries his very best, that he is a hero.

Any human being, especially a child, who tries to learn no matter what, is a hero in my book.

Labels: Christal Rice Cooper, Homework

7 comments:

2cute4u said...: Great tips although I would tend to disagree with the money giving after every homework.. doesn't set for good standards (my thoughts though)
www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com; February 28, 2010 4:39 PM
Laurie said...: Another great post. I can use some of the tricks. One problem I have, is after school. Teachers have advised too, to do it right away. My problem is my son, receives an average of 1 hr of homework a night, (he's in 3rd grade) It sometimes is longer, sometimes shorter. Neighborhood friends are outside playing after school, and I also have a 5 year old. I feel like the "mean mom of the block", when I tell him he can't play until homework is finished. We've tried to compromise, on getting most of it finished, but it's still a struggle. Instead of money for homework, we've built in Basketball practice, games, etc, other extra's he needs to "earn" to participate in. That's worked better for us as far as a trick for homework. Just my 2cents worth :); March 1, 2010 1:12 PM
Christal said...: Testing; March 6, 2010 8:07 PM
Christal said...: 2cute4u
Thank you so much for your comment. I'm just now getting to it because I'm still learning the entire process of this. It takes me a little bit longer than most people.
You might say I got desperate for my son to NOT have the same school experience I had. And he doesn't get an allowance. He has to earn the money, rather homework, doing dishes, doing his laundry, etc. And even then he can't spend it unless he earns the right to spend it. I used to think this was terrible to do; but I think it's great that he feels rewarded doing homework, plus I couldn't ask for him to love school much more. He's thrilled about school.
Thanks again for your comments. I welcome them all.
Christal; March 6, 2010 8:09 PM
Christal said...: Laurie,
Once again I'm still learning this stuff. Just now getting the hang of it (with help from my husband).
I am in the same position you are - I have a four year old. What I normally do is put in a video or watch a program in the living room while Nicholas and I are in the office, with the door closed. That way he doesn't get distracted. Plus, I can still keep on eye on both of them.
It really is homework madness. Nicholas doesn't have as much homework, certainly not one full hour per day. I think for a third grader that is overkill, unless perhaps that includes their 20 minutes of reading.
And I welcome all of your 2cents. Believe me, I am a Mom, who needs all the advice and comments she can get.
Thanks again
Christal; March 6, 2010 8:12 PM
Kerrie McLoughlin said...: these are actually great tips for homeschoolers as well. everyone thinks homeschooled kids have it so easy and have no homework yet trying to get a boy to do homeschooling on a nice day is very hard and we end up doing it at night like homework would be done by a school kid. i should try having my kids do like ONE or TWO things then go play, then come back in, do a couple more things. lots of breaks. good post!; March 7, 2010 5:38 PM
Stefan said...: There is more and more research that links many learning and developmental difficulties to poor communication and synchronisation between the two brain halves. An effective way of improving the processing functions in the brain is to listen to specially altered sound or music through headphones as pioneered by Dr. Alfred Tomatis (Tomatis method) and Dr. Guy Bérard (Auditory Integration Training - AIT).

Now there is a new Sound Therapy Programme which has been specifically developed with the aim to improve sensory processing, interhemispheric integration and cognitive functioning and it is entirely free to download and use at home. It has helped many children and adults with a wide range of learning and developmental difficulties, ranging from dyslexia, dyspraxia and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder to sensory processing disorders and autism. It is not a cure or medical intervention, but a structured training programme that can help alleviate some of the debilitating effects that these conditions can have on speech and physical ability, daily behaviour, emotional well-being and educational or work performance.

Check out the Free Sound Therapy Home Programme from Sensory Activation Solutions. There is no catch, it's absolutely free and most importantly often effective. Find it at: http://www.uk.sascentre.com/uk_free.html.; March 22, 2010 7:43 AM

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