The WM Parenting Connection

By Angela Atkinson- Family Dynamics

My name is Angela Atkinson. I'm a freelance writer, editor and researcher, and I absolutely love my work. But professional aspirations aside, I'm a mom and wife first. I have three amazing kids--Cameron is 12, Noah is 6 and Sophia is 2. My husband Bill and I are happily married. As you might imagine, having kids with such a wide age span can certainly be a challenge--but definitely one that's worth meeting.

I worked in the corporate world for the first 8 years of my life as Mom, and in 2005, my husband and I made the decision that I would leave my job and begin working from home so that I could be here for the kids. These days, my office is just a few steps from the living area of my house. And, while it's great to "go to work" in my pajamas now and then, there are new and different challenges.

Even so, I wouldn't trade it for the world (or even for that exciting world-traveling life of which I once dreamed.)

I know how hard it can be to leave your kids in daycare or with a sitter and go out to brave corporate life. My oldest son first attended daycare at around 18 months, but my middle son was first left with a sitter at only 8 weeks old. It was something that was necessary for my family at the time, but that didn't make it any easier.

I'm one of those women who never knew she wanted kids. In fact, I was pretty sure I didn't. I thought that I'd grow up and travel the world, writing my way through Europe and other exotic foreign lands--and then move to Maine, where I'd write The Great American Novel. Oh, and somewhere in there, I hoped to land a job working in a real-life (now old-fashioned) newsroom--the kind that produced newspapers or magazines, not TV shows.

Yet, the day came that I learned I would become a mom for the first time--and all of that seemed to slip away, at least for awhile. Sure, I held onto the dream, somewhere deep inside. But I was about to embark on a journey that would forever change my life--and I had no idea how much.

I'm gonna be honest with you here--and feel free to laugh at me. I'll be snickering right along with you.

Before I became a mom, I thought I knew IT ALL. I had, after all, babysat since I was ten years old. And, I believed, I knew what it was to take care of kids full time. What about those summers I'd babysat the Finley kids? There were four of them, and I was there for eight or ten hours a day the year their parents opened the restaurant. I made a whole three bucks an hour, and back then, that was great money for a 14 year old.

That was just like parenting, right?

Oh, my friends, I can feel your giggles and knowing smiles from here. As you all well know, it turned out that I was completely clueless.

A friend and former roommate of mine had her first baby just a few months before I had my own. I remember quietly judging her when she bemoaned the pressures of early parenthood. I secretly believed that I was stronger than she, that it couldn't possibly be as hard for me as it was for her.

After all--I'd parented those Finley kids that summer I was 14. Right?

But then, the most beautiful boy I had yet to lay eyes on arrived in my life, screaming into the world (which, as it turned out, he would do for most of his awake time for the next three full months thanks to a terrible case of colic.)

I remember holding that beautiful boy in my arms the first night I was home, staring at him as he screamed and kicked his tiny legs, and wishing, at least for a moment, that I was still pregnant for one more night. It was 3 o'clock in the morning, and I felt like I hadn't slept in a week. (Note to all first time moms: SLEEP while you're in the hospital, no matter how excited you are to finally have that baby! You will regret it if you don't.)

It was a few weeks before I finally had the nerve to sheepishly call my friend and apologize for secretly thinking she didn't know what she was talking about. She laughed at me, of course, and graciously forgave me--much like I do these days when non-parents or newer-than-me parents offer unfounded advice. I smile, nod, and surreptitiously know that one day, they'll understand. And, the more patient and understanding I become, the less often I wish children (just like themselves) on them. It's a growth thing. ;)

I've learned a lot about parenting along the way. Those parenting books I pored over during my pregnancy and the first few years of my oldest son's life did help--some--but I've learned the hard way that nothing in the world trumps hands on, real life parenting of real life children.

I feel strongly that giving birth (or contributing to that process) does not a parent make. Though my children are all biologically mine, I personally know some sperm and egg donors (i.e. deadbeat parents) who choose not to involve themselves in their children's lives. In many cases, other men and women have stepped up and become the parent the children are missing, either through adoption or in step-parent roles.

Like the old saying goes, anyone can be a mother or father, but it takes someone special to be a Mommy or Daddy.

One thing I know for sure: Mom and Dad are titles that one earns every single day, by being there for children emotionally, financially and in every other way necessary. Being a parent is the hardest and most significant job any of us will ever have. We are literally raising the future of our families, our country, our world.

Parenting (and life, I believe) is a continuous learning process. After nearly 13 years of being called Mom, I still don't know it all--but by now, I know that I never will.


Still, as a slightly obsessive person, I tend to research as much as I can about any topic that interests me--and since my kids are my number one priority, I've researched nearly every issue, challenge or concern I've had with them thus far. I stay up-to-date on current issues that concern parents. In fact, I even write a parenting column.

I'm also lucky to have a great network of mom friends, both in real life and virtually, each of whom helps me remember to "keep it real" on a pretty regular basis. It's a journey, this whole parenting thing.

Every Tuesday, I'll be posting about any and everything related to being a family. I'll cover working parents as well as work-at-home and stay-at home parents, and the related issues. This will include family dynamics, marriage and relationships, kids of various ages and the many exciting topics associated with them, and any and everything else that is related to parenting and family. I hope you'll join me, and the rest of our expert parenting bloggers, on our journey through this jungle we call parenting.

Be sure to watch for our other five experts to introduce themselves this week too!

Family Dynamics Expert: Angela Atkinson