The WM Parenting Connection

By Angela Atkinson

As I may have mentioned before, I'm the mother of three amazing kids--one of whom is getting ready to embark on that wonderful journey we call "The Teen Years." While girls are statistically slightly more likely to have social networking accounts (like Facebook and MySpace), my son joined the social networking "club" this year on his twelfth birthday.

We have rules at our house about Internet use. First and foremost, our kids computer lives in the middle of our house, right in the main living area. This way, we can always see what they're doing. Plus, thanks to my husband's mad IT networking skills, we can also access their computer from his or mine.

The kids have time limits and there are certain sites and activities we allow. We keep tabs on their Internet use, and we make no bones about it. We don't even PRETEND that they have privacy when it comes to the Internet.

Maybe this makes us slightly gestapo-ish, but we don't care. And guess what? Our kids don't care either--even the 12 year old. He knows what to expect, and simply KNOWING that you're watching will be enough to keep most kids honest.

But it's far more serious than that. The fact is, keeping an eye on your kids' internet activity isn't about having control--it's about keeping your kids safe. We've all heard about Internet predators, and each of us has heard at least one tragic story about their effects on our youth. In my house, we take the proactive approach because we don't want our children to become one of those stories.

Why It Matters

 A study commissioned by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children found that 71 percent of kids receive unsolicited messages or attention from people they don't know when they're online. And, the study found, 14 percent of these kids have actually met at least one person face-to-face who they only previously knew through the Internet. Another 30 percent admit to considering meeting an online friend in person, and nearly half have been asked for personal information by someone they don't know in real life.

Then there's the scariest fact of all--while 40 percent of kids and teens admit that they would chat with an unknown online person, only 18 percent say they'll share that information with their parents. One in five teens think it's safe to share personal information on their blogs or networking sites. Nearly 40 percent say that they're unconcerned  with the idea that someone could use the information against them.

What Kids Think

So, can't we simply educate our kids? Of course we can, and we should. But that may not completely eliminate the danger. Consider the fact that most kids think their parents don't know what they're talking about, especially teens and tweens.

Tweens and teens today think the 80's and 90's were "the old days" and their parents who grew up in those decades are "out of the loop" when it comes to the Internet--even kids like mine who have two parents who grew up with it and are quite savvy, thank you very much.

In fact, 33 percent of 13 to 17 year olds and 48 percent of 16 and 17 year olds say their parents have no clue what they're doing online, and 22 percent say their parents have never even discussed Internet safety with them.

What You Can Do

1. Put the computer your kids use in a central location of the home. Do not put internet connections in their bedrooms or allow wireless laptops in their rooms for Internet use.

2. Tell your kids, in no uncertain terms, that you WILL be watching their Internet use, and establish appropriate consequences for violations of your rules. If they don't follow the rules, they don't get to use the Internet. Plain and simple.

3. Consider buying and installing kid monitoring software. Alternatively, use a reputable free software service like McGruff Safeguard, which is sponsored by The National Crime Prevention Council.

4. Limit the amount of time your kids spend online (outside of homework.) Set standard rules and stick to them.

5. Educate your children about the dangers of the Internet. Check out the FBI's Internet Safety page for kids to help you get started.

What steps have you taken to keep your kids safe online?


Watch for Next Week's Post: Signs your child is being targeted by an Internet predator



Image Credit: Dave Di Biase

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